Wowza.. how the hand-baskets did we get HERE?!!
Hold up yo. Rewind. Yesterday was such a transition funk. I literally just sat there not knowing what to do with myself all day until people started arriving home and I had their needs to attend to.
First I did this mad dash to get all the Monday things done and when that was over, I just sat down and sulked. Then I got mad at myself for wasting time I could have been exercising (kinda slipping off that wagon lately). But did I make a move to change it? No. Then I had this internal argument with myself about it being ok to be lazy sometimes. Seriously! Why is it I can’t just be lazy?
I checked my bank account and paid my credit card bill online. I resisted the other bookmarks, a depressing set of rabbit-holes. I downloaded a meditation app on my phone and did “lesson 1”. Even when trying to meditate my mind wanders to the question of productivity.
He said in a calm and pleasant voice “your mind has wandered away and that’s ok. When you notice this, bring it back and focus on your breathing”. THAT is easier said than done.
I’m like whoa! How did he know that? I know it’s because the human brain can be really predictable in this scenario. Especially an untrained one. Fast forward back to now.
October 1st and it sort of feels great to be out of September. It’s the stupid month everyone holds on a pedestal, toasting pumpkin spice lattes to autumn and fire pits and relief from the heat of summer. The reality is that September is just a poser. It’s tricks don’t fool me. It’s still summer, hot as balls outside and nothing has really changed.
But October.. is the real deal. Take a look at the extended forecast. Look at the natural shriveling of garden vines. The air outside smells of change and the winds are shifting. Notice the birds flying like nature’s arrows to a place they can call home while winter blankets the Midwest. Nature knows.
Today it’s going to be rainy and dark and I’m just gonna snuggle down. I’m going to let myself feel October sinking in my skin. And make a promise to not be too hard on myself when tomorrow comes and October 1st didn’t amount to anything. All I can do is try. Right?
On that note.. it’s time to lean into that thought and make it happen.
Cheers to the Real Deal, ☕️