I’ll just keep adding days to the title ‘till I’m done. Ok?
I’ve been having terrible sleep lately… And headaches. I went to sleep last night with one and woke up (at 5am) today and it was still with me. I knew I would not be able to go back to sleep and figured I would do my writing early, for an hour, but as I cruised around the virtual world searching for inspiration, I found none.
I have no motivation today and feel I’m probably destined for failure. On Thursday I only wrote that last blog post and nothing else. Then on Friday I was bound and determined, but only cranked out some 500 words which were mostly musing about the song stuck in my head. Probably crap. I decided to send it to the two friends who are actively doing this challenge with me. I sent a few other documents too, to try and keep me motivated to keep going because I just want to quit and go back to my normal routine.
At the moment the decision to share seemed like a good idea, but now that the moment has passed, I kind of wish I would not have. Overthinking it, of course.
But this has been a struggle and though I’m fairly happy with what I’ve been able to accomplish in one week, I’m kind of frustrated by the process and life in general. I think that has less to do with my inability to write and more to do with the sleep and headache issues, but it’s all connected. It probably also has to do with my foot (toe) injury and not being able to exercise. Exercise grounds me and I don’t think it matters if I’m able to write as much as it does if I’m able to be physically active.
Swapping the exercise for writing isn’t going to work out in the long run. But I’m going to stick with the current plan for 7 more days and confirm that. I think (hope) by that time my foot will be healed and I’ll be able to walk like a normal human again.
It’s 6:46 am and I’m going back to bed.
Between then (yesterday) and now (now), I’ve written no words of any sort other than a few emails. Emails don’t count for sure, even if they are the most beautiful, well-intended emails that were ever sent flying through the virtual world.
The virtual world. What a mystical place, yes? I mean (roll your eyes as I) start with blah-blah-woof-woof about my kids never knowing life without the internet but good gravy, how different things were back then! They will never know and that sometimes blows my mind.
I recently finished the book “Station Eleven” which was incredible. I love dystopian fiction but man, she nailed it. I mean, the lyrical aspect of every chapter. A story woven in the most unique way, bringing past, present, and future together like puzzle pieces inching closer together until finally, voila! You have a complete picture of what happened and an amazing empathy for this sickness we sometimes call “the human condition.”
One of the things the book does really well is it describes how life would be after electricity. I mean, after “the grid” we all take for granted no longer has anyone manning it. All the people are gone and no one is left to actually operate machinery, farm equipment, oil refineries to make gasoline, or anything really. Humans are civilized (mostly) and have reverted to hunting and gathering. It would also mean, of course, no internet.
Obvi there’s a lot the book can’t get into because it’s a veritable rabbit hole of cause and effect, but I think about all those giant data centers out there. That thing we call “the cloud” and how it’s not a cloud at all but a giant concrete and steel structure housing thousands of computers with processors, storage, cooling fans, etc. And there isn’t just one, there are hundreds. All those structures would be dormant. Massive sleeping giants waiting for their human caretakers to return.
The book was so beautifully written, there were several moments I thought… this is the most beautiful sentence and it should be a poem. I should find a poem here and stake my claim on it (giving due credit to Emily where it is due of course). Even though I have now finished the book, I might still do that. My brain is clearly still lingering there.
I really enjoyed all the scenes with Miranda, who was so relatable (to me). The chapter when she met Arthur and left her boyfriend, and later the dinner party at the end of her marriage. Both are so compelling and the descriptions of her art are poignant.
As for found poems, two places, in particular, stand out. One is the scene when Arthur describes his boyhood home island (or maybe it’s Miranda). I could see it hovering there, just beyond the page and I understood the experience through the telling of it. That’s how you know.
The other place is not as clear to me now, for placement back in the book, because I don’t remember the scene or the character that it was about. But it did have that great series of fragmented lines. This, and this, and this, and this…. inching closer…
Yes, I realize I just wrote that “inching closer” bit twice now, but that’s exactly it. I’ll have to find it. Definitely worth diving back in for a second look.
So there you have it. I’ve finally finished my first actual book of the year. Just 5 months behind schedule now and not to worry, I only need to double up and read two a month from here on out to come ahead of my original goal for the year. I do love setting goals, but sometimes my hopes are higher than they should be. Perhaps I just need to find the right books. This one was great, of course, which makes it easy. And stupid poetry books don’t count.
And issue of Rattle?! Shmesh..no!! I started into the latest one of those yesterday in search of inspiration and it only makes me mad. With all these poems which seem like nothing special, why can’t they take one of mine? Why, Tim, why?!?
I know Tim and his people are looking for unique poems with unique topics and maybe that’s just not me. I think I have some poems in their in-box, and of course, their contest deadline is coming up soon (July 15th) and I can’t miss another opportunity to extend my lifetime subscription for another one or two years.
OK… I’ve mused around and about for about 30 minutes now and probably should try and be more creatively productive with one of my other projects since that’s actual goal. When is this challenge over again? Oh yeah, 5 more days (after today). Good gravy.