2021-02-28 Looking Back to Improve the Future… 🗓 ✅🚫⏰

It’s the last day of the month and the last day of the week AND the last day of my little experiment to untether myself from my phone. You know what that means? It’s time for the ultimate Sunday status. 

First off.. I’ve already been analyzing “stats” for about 50 minutes of today’s walk so either I’m gonna keep walking and get a huge boost on my steps today or this post is going to be super short. 

My update is also going to be a little skewed this week cuz I did try to disconnect from my phone and normal routine to see what affect that would have on my mood and outlook on life. 

This means I did not check my steps or sleep or anything else all week and did not keep track of meditation or eating habits. I just let it all go for a week. I didn’t have a FitBit in 2006 so I treated this past week as if I still didn’t. However, I still wore the FitBit so it could collect the stats anyhow. Why? Just cuz. 😜

Syncing this morning it appears that there are no surprises. Aside from the addition of exercise classes this week, my steps remained about the same and my sleep did not deviate from the norm. 

Those are the only two categories I have definitive results on. As I said the others weren’t tracked and are largely subjective anyhow. 

Moving on to the the results of my little experiment to bring 2006 back…. all things considered I would say it was kind of an epic fail. I suppose I did a fine job leaving my phone alone for the most part and embraced limiting my checking of email like a champ. I’m already a minimalist when it comes to Facebook and twitter and insta so it was easy to not open those apps all week.

In short, all things that are naturally easy were easy. The more challenging areas are responding to text messages and I came to conclude that I wasn’t going to be able to give up this daily blog. It’s the main activity that boosts my screen time each day. And that didn’t change this past week. 

My daily average screen time last week was 2 hours and 27 minutes (down 32% from the previous week). The previous week was about an hour longer. The devil, of course, is in the details. I can look at the apps and categories (productivity, social networking, and creativity) and see where my time is being spent. Very useful.

It looks like the reporting of data collected only goes back 4 weeks so I don’t have long term analytics like I do with FitBit, but it’s enough to analyze my week last week and perhaps set new goals. I’m not inclined to try and limit my productivity (this) but can definitely set a goal around “social networking.” 

I find it interesting that the messaging app is categorized as social networking along with Facebook and Twitter. I dig digging into this data and am already developing a new set of metrics and goals. I just can’t help myself. 🤣

***

Tomorrow is the start of a new month and new week which means an opportunity to start fresh and redefine the goals. Considering my attempts in February (and January too for that matter) fell short, I’m going to try and take a look at things from the new perspectives gained these past few weeks. I’m no longer going to be measuring “success” according to the same scale. Here are the new-new targets:

For sleep, instead of going according to the sleep score or duration, I’m going to be hyper-focused on whe time I go to bed. The goal will be to be in bed by 10pm with about half an hour of wind-down time beforehand. If I’m able to do that, the other stats should validate that it is working. 

I’m removing food and healthy eating from the set list of goals. Instead I’m going to try not to think about it as much. I’m putting the scale away and not imposing any restrictions or trying any fad behaviors. The ultimate objective is to put the focus elsewhere. I spend too much time struggling with the healthy eating puzzle and always seem to fail. Maybe if I let that shit go, I will have more time to work on other mental puzzles. We’ll see.

I’m keeping mood and meditation for now, but added an daily alarm on my phone to stop what I’m doing immediately and meditate. We’ll see how that goes too. 

As for the screen time and dependency on technology.. my new goals are to keep daily screen time down under 2.5 hours a day AND not more than 30 minutes on social stuff (remember that includes messaging). To support this I’m going to continue to keep my phone at a distance, both overnight and during the day. At least that part of what I did last week seems as though it would be easy to adopt more permanently. 

I’m not really changing my expectations for steps but adding 20 minutes of cardio as another check. The classes will help and I’m going to look into what cardio classes my gym offers. The strength training I started this week is great, but I’m really missing Jazzercise or some other form of cardio. If all else fails, I could always just bike here at home. 

I’ve actually switched to the bike now. I’ve perfected walking and typing at the same time and so this is a test of biking and typing. 

I think that’s the end of the changes for this week. Am I ready for a new week? Am I ready for March? Yes and no. 

Ready or not though.. time waits for no one.

Cheers to Healthy Living (and Analytics),

~Miss SugarCookie

2021-02-15 Trying to be Positive Amidst So Much Negativity

As predicted my step streak was broken yesterday. Missed it by a whopping 4K as I sat around all day lamenting my fever and aching muscles. 

Let’s cut to the chase. It’s negative 13 degrees outside right now. The high will be negative 2 which won’t last long before the dip back down to a bone chilling negative 18. That’s a whole lot of negativity people. Why would I fight it? 

My fever and headache yesterday persisted all day and started to dissipate as the evening approached. Still my body felt like it had been through some iron man trial and was sore all over. I even had a nap and was able to sleep in the afternoon. Not sure what time I went to bed, but Jim didn’t wake me this morning (and neither did his alarm) and it was lovely not to have to wake up before the sun for a change. Just wish I didn’t have to also feel like I was on my deathbed so I could actually enjoy it. 

The other reality check this morning is that it’s been like 3 days since I’ve had a shower. As I look at my Monday to-do list, I feel like adding it just so I can cross it off. Sad but true. 

Jim was so sweet taking care of me, which mostly consisted of letting me lay around like a lump while he did his own stuff. He did take me on a Valentine’s Day mini-road trip to pony creek recreation area and all I had to do was sit in the car and enjoy the scenery. 

The lake there had a big hole in it that appeared as though it had steam coming off and several hundred geese huddled in and on the ice surrounding the hole. It was a sight to see and it makes me think of all the poor animals out there huddled together in this desperate cold trying to survive. 

I set our thermostats to 68 and 70 before going to bed. This cold spell is gonna cost a fortune. This is the disadvantage of living in a large house. There’s so much unused space. I wish I could declare a winter weather emergency and make everyone camp out in just a few rooms until it passes to conserve energy. Oh well. 

In other news we are now over halfway through February and I feel so far that I’ve failed with the challenges I’ve issued for myself both for the year and this month. I’m starting over today. More healthy eating habits and more meditation. Feeling like garbage the last couple of days has really made me think about getting back on the heathy bandwagon. 

I’m not sure I’m quite up to adding more cardio yet, as I’m not quite recovered from being sick, but there should not be anything that stops me from meditation (or eating healthier). 

In other news we have a car stranded at Jim’s office that will not start and that means I get to play taxi a little bit today if I want to hit the grocery store and start getting my act together for the week. It’s Presidents’ Day and apparently that’s a “no school” holiday, but I still have to pick my son up from his dads house. I think with this cold they would have called school off anyhow. They can’t run busses and have kids standing outside in this frozen tundra!

None of this is news. None of this is noteworthy. I want to try and be positive but there’s not a lot more on my brain today besides getting that shower and staying warm. Guess that means it’s time to switch to reading.

Until next time, 

~Miss SugarCookie

2021-01-19 The One Track Mind of My Desires ☕️🍔🌮🍕🍿🍫

I subconsciously added the word “food” in my paper planner on each day of the week this week instead of “mood.” This would be fine, except that I already have another daily goal for eating healthy which I abbreviate to “eat.” The result is the following five daily goals: 

Sleep, eat, food, mind (for meditation), and Exercise. Apparently my subconscious knows I’m hungry. I’m always hungry. When am I not hungry??? 

The answer is never. 🤷‍♀️

I changed all the “F”s to “M”s. My subconscious might have ulterior motives but right now my focus is on meditation and mood. I mean, perhaps if I was full and satisfied I would not be fatigued all the time but, but.. hold up!! 

Sometimes when I’m writing, I learn something new and I think I just had a lightbulb appear above my head. 

A few months back I had decided that I was going to try to get more protein each day and that was going to help with my energy levels. But that whole exploration ended in failure because I became a little too obsessed with counting calories. Past the point of reasons, in reality.

But maybe I need to revisit that. Maybe I need to try again but slow my roll. That little experiment reminded me of how easy it is for me to slip into bad patterns of behavior but also about how many calories are a legit amount to have each day and what reasonable meals look like. I might try again, without actually  counting calories and just try to eat more protein. 

This would be going against my New Years résolution to do less goal setting and not add more expectations on myself. Mark the calendar… 19 days in and I’m already considering breaking my resolve. But I haven’t done it yet so there’s still time to save it.

Can you just see how I’m my own worst enemy. Who else do you know who makes a New Years résolution to do less and can’t keep it??!! 😜

Whatever. Yesterday I finally listened to the entire day 4 of the waking up app. Ironically, the session was about being able to meditate even with distractions and I could not listen to it all the way through because I kept getting distracted. I tried on Friday, Saturday, Sunday. I felt like I was never going to be able to finish days four. Complete failure.

However yesterday I finished. Not entirely successful but I did get to the end. Today will be day 5. Perhaps the trick is to do this when no one else is home. I know the ultimate goal is to be able to meditate anywhere and in any circumstances but I’m definitely not there yet. I actually think the day 4 lesson was introduced too soon. I’m still figuring how to focus on my breathing and just recognize sensations and let them pass.

I’ve got a full set list of things I want to get done today. A bunch of stuff for the lit mag plus getting my car registration taken care of. Plus the normal Tuesday chore of taking care of trash and recycling.

Several months ago they switched our recycling to once every two weeks. And then about six weeks ago they switched our pick up carts to these giant bins, that can be automatically picked up and dumped by the trucks.

All of this has led to a recycling disaster in my house. 

As the overlord of the house, I’m kind of a stickler about recycling and therefore we generate a lot more recycling than we do actual trash. If it can be recycled it goes in the recycle bin. The problem at this point is that we are generating more recycling than the amount that will fit in the bin every two weeks.

I’m flattening all the cardboard, squishing all the bottles and cans as much as I can but there’s just no way to make it fit. Two weeks ago, I left a bunch of flattened cardboard next to the recycle bin like I used to with our old system and hoped that they would Make an effort to pick it up. But they didn’t.

So I had to drag all that wet soggy cardboard back up to my garage let it dry out and try to put it in the bin this week. Which I did however now all of the other bottles and cans and cardboard won’t fit.

There’s a pile of cardboard growing in the corner of my garage and I don’t see a way to solve this problem. I guess we can always get another bin for the additional cost but it’s frustrating to have to pay extra for trying to be a good human. This is what’s wrong with our world. 

It’s tougher to be good than to just be rotten or to not care at all. This IS the change I want to see in the world. I suppose if I want to see the change, I need to do as they say and be the change. But I’m just one human: what can I do? 

I have a lot more to say on this subject. There’s a whole post brewing on the things I’ve just said in the last two paragraphs. But today is not the day. Today I need to focus. I need to get done what is directly in front of me. I need to follow through on immediate responsibilities and obligations. 

And then I need to meditate. 

And then I need to eat. 

And then I need to decide what is the next best thing. 

That’s the order of operations today.. maybe not in that exact order though, cuz I AM kinda super hungry and would like to eat first. 🤣

My cats have all been waiting patiently for me to finish my walk. They all find their own little spot to lay down in the exercise room to wait. Each day, they follow me from room to room, from task to task, napping in each different location. I think their primary objective is to nap while keeping one eager eye on the person who feeds them. They have life all figured out. Maybe I should take a lesson. Ha! 

On that note.., I’m done for now. Time to eat!

Cheers to Taco Tuesday!

~Miss SugarCookie

2021-01-16 Being Mindful That There’s Always Tomorrow

Whatever it was I had all week I lost. And I can’t exactly explain it. I mean, I can blame it on my period, I suppose, which has just begun. Middle of the night with a vengeance. My sleep was restless and by 5am I gave up and shuffled myself to the kitchen to get some ibuprofen. Those cramps. Ugh!! 

But is that the reason I’m stuck on Day 4 of the Waking Up guided meditation app? I literally tried 3 times yesterday to sit still and listen and pay attention and follow along. I rewound to the beginning three times and then gave up.

I rolled into my stomach on my closet floor and just felt the ground under my body. The new carpet, the contact points on my exposed skin and just tried to be there. I quickly forgave myself for not being able to listen to the entire meditation session. I have to accept that I’m just learning and some days it will be easier than others. I said “I’ll try again tomorrow.” And so I will. 

Then I sat up a little and stretched for the box of mindfulness cards I got for Christmas. I’ve been pulling random cards from the deck and it feels more like reading a set of tarot cards than anything else. Ironically the card I pulled yesterday was “let it go.” 

I chuckled to myself, well I just did that so what now. 🤷‍♀️

I honestly didn’t feel like doing anything else. Sometimes I feel like I spend a lot of time waiting on Jim. He’s a busy guy and it’s ok when I’m busy too, which I often am, but on a Friday night I should not be waiting. Work should be done or put on pause. Projects too. And if I’ve made an effort to do that, and don’t want to start something new because it’s Friday night, then I should not be laying on my closet floor waiting. 

After all, I have this problem where I’m so tired by 9pm and falling asleep and so being in that position at 7pm doesn’t help. I need to be doing something, talking, watching something. Something so that I don’t just crash out by 7:30. 

We eventually made our way to the basement to watch a movie. It was not the most exciting thing so I had trouble. Some Amazon original movie or something else included free with the service, some true story about a British guy who was an explorer obsessed with the Lost City of Z. Over two hours long. We could not finish it. I think we have 50 minutes left. Neither one of us was that into it. They can’t all be winners. 

So that was my exciting Friday night, followed by a sub-par nights sleep, and atypical Saturday morning. It’s already 11:30 and I’m just now on the treadmill. I’ll be heading over to CB today and after that taking my daughter shopping for a new desk. She’s decided to spend her own $$$ on a craft desk for the craft room. Probably we’ll spend some time in there organizing today. It’s almost done.

We’ve agreed that we’ll each have our own work area, with a desk and set of shelves. We have enough shelves and I don’t really need a desk, so I think getting her a desk will be the last thing. 

I can tell I’m in a down mood because I’m not looking forward to any of this. When the thought of doing things you normally would enjoy feels like a chore, then you know the dauber is down. 

I need to snap out of it. I’m not sure how. 

Maybe I just need to let go more. Take a few days to back off even farther from putting expectations on myself. Can I just give myself more time? There’s no way to know what is right. Is there really  no way to know? 

I’m staring directly at the open notebook with my stats, goals, checkboxes, and the rest of the weekend that’s not filled out yet. Sleep, eating, mood, mindfulness, and exercise. My daily five, plus other to-do list items. Time to close that book for now I think. 

I’m only at 5k steps but really not feeling this jam today. It’s ok. Like the meditation I’ll have another opportunity tomorrow.

Peace and love, 

~Miss SugarCookie

2021-01-14 Day of Reckoning 🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽

So far so good this week. It’s the second week of January and I’m doing OK sticking to “the plan.” The plan being to NOT take on too much and make micro moves to improve my health and well being. The target is currently getting better/more sleep and trying some things that might help with my daytime fatigue. 

I changed “productivity” on the list of goals I’m tracking each day to “mood” and added meditation. I’ve committed myself to not becoming over committed so I set the goal for meditation to 15 minutes a day. I can do that. It’s achievable and that’s important. Yesterday was day 3 using the Waking Up app. I’m digging it. 

As far as swapping productivity for mood, the way I figure it’s all the same in my brain. If I’m productive, I’m usually in a better mood and both categories are subjective. I never really had a solid daily goal. No “if I do X, Y, and Z, then I can check that box” so This mood thing makes more sense. 

Probably one of the biggest challenges with “the plan” for this year is the thoughts that creep in about what else I can do. Like today, I’m doing good. I see my stats are banging and all the boxes are being checked and my brain naturally urges me to add something else. 

Brain says “you’re doing great so why not do better by adding another goal? You want to do better right? You’re awesome and you can do it!” 

Yes, my brain tells me I’m awesome all the time. Now aren’t you jealous? 

I try to be humble most of the time but sometimes it slips out. We all have our weak moments but I don’t think I’ve ever had a problem with self esteem. I mean, not in the pure sense of the concept. I’ve suffered from a lack of being loved properly before and wondered what was wrong with me, but even through that, I still felt good about myself. I’ve suffered also from body image issues, but deep down still know I’m doing ok. That I’m healthy and doing the best I can. 

I digress. 

So far this week my brain has urged me to do the following:

  1. Increase my daily step count goal (more than once). 
  2. Set a new goal to increase my submissions to publications. 
  3. Add additional chores into the daily rotation. 
  4. Donate blood. 
  5. Add another New Years resolution to keep my closet clean every day. 
  6. Commit to writing a new poem each week. 
  7. Try to start a new writing workshop with friends. 

These thoughts just pop into my head randomly and I acknowledge them. I remember what my friend M says about these busy thoughts. She said just watch them go by like a movie and let go of the need to take action. I’m trying.

They pop, and I watch, and then they subside. I’m learning more about how to be better at this and beginning to practice with the meditation instruction I’m receiving. Like I said, so far so good.

***

Today I have one and only one weekly house chore on my list. That’s to clean toilets. I’ve put this on my list in past weeks and have never actually made an effort to go around the house and clean all the toilets. I hate cleaning toilets. This is a stupid statement. Who likes cleaning toilets? When I got married last year I almost put in my vows something like “I vow not to let you domesticate me, and I vow never to do your laundry or vacuum.” Call it the anti-vow. 

A few weeks ago Jim and I had our first real argument. We’ve had disagreements before but this was a heated, trite conversation that was triggered by the fact that his teenage son does not separate his recycling from his trash. I was sick and tired of digging through dirty trash bags to separate the recycling and it just came out, and it came out exasperated and angry.

Jim countered this with how upset he was that the toilets are dire. Instead of talking more about it, it was swept away till “later” when we were both calm and away from the edge. We never revisited these issues so I’m sure it will rear its ugly head at some point.

However, IF I’ve made an effort to clean, he’ll have no choice but to help with my “trashy” issue right??!! 

Today is the day. Toilets, here I come! 🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽

I’m also driving to CB to visit my dad and having a rare coffee meetup with my friend Josh. The last umpteen times Josh and I have made a plan, I’ve dipped out day-of. We used to hang out a lot when I lived in Papillion. We went to the same gym and we used to walk and talk and sometimes go for coffee too. Of course it was way more than just that but the friendship waned when I met Jim and when I moved it became rare to hang out.

I think I saw him once last year with the pandemic. Maybe twice. I definitely have to be in the right mood for a meetup with the guy. He can be intense. He can also be a broken record. He also sometimes says things with a motive of insighting conflict. A good example is telling me I’m with the wrong person. Even after I got married he still says it. Obviously since I have not seen him, his only opportunity to get digs in is over text. My standard response is “cool story bro.” What I should say is “at least I’m with someone.” He hasn’t had a real girlfriend for years. He’s very stuck and broken and can’t face his own issues (or just doesn’t make moves to fix them) but very good at pointing out other people’s issues. Not my problem.

Wow. It seems like I really don’t like this guy. It’s probably why I haven’t met up with him in a while (besides the Covid). Why then would I meet up with him now? That’s a good question. I think that would be a good topic for a future blog post. Maybe tomorrow after I’ve met with him. 

Anyway, so that’s my day today and perhaps it will all play out like I envision in my head. Perhaps. 

Sometimes I think my steps are not being recorded accurately. I mean, I feel as though I’ve been walking and typing for a while now and I still only have 7K steps. How can that be? No matter, I’ve got to get to scrubbing. 

🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽, 

~Miss SugarCookie

2021-01-10 Sunday Status New Year Style

Yesterday was another well balanced day that began with a lovely walk and several hours spent playing catch-up on all the GLR stuff that’s overdue to be completed. There’s still more to do but I can sail through the rest of the weekend feeling satisfied with my progress. 

The day rolled along and I spent some good QT with Z and with Jim. Z is actively selling some of the extra furniture from our craft room and so I’m helping her with that. Any funds she collects will go toward her latest project which just happens to be starting a new business on Etcy. She’s got big plans, motivation, and time. I mean. At the moment she has all these. We’ll see once she goes back to school. 

In any case, the gutting and reorg of the craft room is for that endeavor too. She needs a well ventilated space to work on her latest passion.. resin. At Christmas we all got gifts that were made out of resin and she’s learning a lot about how to produce good quality items that don’t have flaws like bubbles and unfinished edges. One thing is true.. when she decides to do something she’s thorough and determined. 

All of the furniture we are parting with is mine from my old house and life. When we first moved in we decided to keep the furniture so that when the kids move out to their own places they would have some things that they would not need to buy. But honestly, that seems to be quite a bit into the future and it will be better just to get rid of it now.

She’s using Facebook marketplace to sell and these items are priced to move so as soon as she posted, she immediately had to field dozens of inquiries about availability, dimensions, etc. I suspect a large part of our day today will be more of the same. That’s ok. 

Last night I powered through almost falling asleep at 8PM and demanded we do something else besides sit and talk. Talking, while lovely, is sometimes not very stimulating. I basically said, let’s watch an action movie. So we did. 

Jim selected ‘Bourne Ultamatum’ which he had seen and I didn’t remember ever watching before and it was good. Some parts felt familiar but that could be because I’ve seen other Bourne movies. It’s a pretty good movie. I’d recommend it. We’ll I’d recommend it if it wasn’t for the fact that everyone has probably already seen it. That’s how it is with me. I haven’t seen much. 

Anyway.. we watched the entire thing and I stayed awake for all of it. Hooray! After that I was like, peace out, and went straight to bed. FitBit recorded 11pm as the time my body went inactive. I guess one thing I can be grateful for is the fact that I don’t have trouble falling asleep at bedtime. I can’t recall ever having that problem in the last 10 years. It’s just all the waking in the middle of the night nonsense that’s my peoblem. 

Today / this week, I’m introducing meditation into my regular routine. Normally when starting something new like this would involve research but in this case the heavy lifting has basically already been done for me. I’ve got a few good starter apps that were recommended to me by my friend Vis who I didn’t even know did meditation until we were texting about it this week. 

I previously mentioned backing off some other goals/measures and making that official today. My step goal has been reduced to 10K steps a day. My sleep goal is now 7 hours a night -or- a sleep score > 75. I’m changing the productivity measure to “mood” and backing off the requirement for meeting that each day (which is kind of nebulous), and adding meditation to the list. Starting small.. 15 minutes a day learning and experimenting. 

What about food and healthy eating? Well I’m going to try backing off paying too much attention to that actually. Which is tough. I wanted to declare that I was going to stop weighing myself but I can’t right now. Believe it or not, it’s counter to my new approach. It really would be taking on too much and causing my brain to think about it too much and that’s not my objective. So I’m truth, it’s better to maintain the status quo than try and make a change. 

I want to spend less time thinking about it and not more. Checking this box each day becomes somewhat nebulous too since there is no measure. I’ve always hated the idea of using weight as the measure, but it’s just easy. 

Yes.. I just tried to make a case for why I’m going to continue to weigh myself everyday in support of not thinking about healthy eating. Kind of ridiculous. But whatever. 

I also resolved to be a better accountability buddy. This means reporting to T each week and seeing how she’s doing too. It’s first up on my list today when I finish my walk. 

Then we’ll do that Sunday thing we do. 

So without further ado, 

I bid thee farewell. 

Later gaters, 

~Miss SugarCookie

2021-01-09 True Introvert

I’m pretty sure I mentioned yesterday my mood is volatile. You know yesterday was well rounded and satisfying and things were good but the day before that was kinda rotten and I found myself grumpy and exhausted. It’s not like anything big changed and this switch is pretty typical so I ask myself.. what gives? 

I think these swings might have something to do with demands on my time and my ability to get some quality “me” time. Sound selfish? Yes. But I’ve got my reasons. Mostly I think it’s because of the way that I was built. The part of human design that people talk about as personality traits like introvert and extrovert has everything to do with it.

The other day I was on a drive with my daughter and we were talking about her personality traits. She’s in the midst of evaluating profiles for roommates for her sophomore year at college. This, of course, requires self evaluation to fill out your own profile. She put down that she’s an introvert. I agree she is. But she talked about a conversation she had with her dad where he told her she was an extrovert.

I disagreed. She said he described her as being an extrovert around people she was comfortable with. I’m like, well duh. I countered that comfort level and the phenomenon of being talkative around your best peeps does not equate to being an extrovert. I think everyone can be outgoing when they feel a certain security. 

Being an introvert or extrovert isn’t dependent on how you are with other people, that’s just the easiest way to kind of tell, the behavior provides insight but isn’t really the defining factor. 

As I understand it (and I’m by no means an expert, but have been interested in the topic and have done research) the categorization is more based on where the individual derived their energy. Simply put, the extrovert gets energized by interaction with others and the introvert builds up their energy stores by being alone.

Flip the script and it stands to reason that the introvert would be depleted of energy after long sessions of interaction or not having the right quality time alone to recharge. 

In this way, I feel like my daughter is an introvert. And so am I. I also think Jim might be one of those self-professed introverts that’s actually an extrovert. He seems to thrive on interaction and gets more energized having lots of folks around. My son is definitely an introvert and my kids’ dad is definitely an extrovert. I digress.

The dynamic with my kids and I, when we lived alone, just the three of us was very much a situation where we were happy to be together for family time, to chat, play games, and watch shows, but then we’re glad to retreat to our own separate spaces to recharge. It worked.

It’s a bit different here. More people, always more going on, and less opportunity to retreat and recharge. And let me tell you that the pandemic does not help. It means all the other opportunities for those extroverts to get out into the world and get their fix are minimized and they end up needing more interaction at home. 

I also think the Covid just fucks everything up. Everyone is stressed and sort of depressed and just trying to figure out how to feel ok. I miss meeting people in person too, and that has nothing to do with my personality type. I just miss human interaction and conversation with different people. I think we’re all suffering from being just a little bit extra broken. Or a lot bit. 

Anyway so back to the being an introvert. I think some days this may be my problem. I mean, it’s not a problem but definitely plays into the mood I’m in and the puzzle I’ve now resolved to figure out. I think if I had more dedicated “me” time, it would improve my daytime fatigue and perhaps even improve my energy going into the evening of each day, instead of being “done done” and checked out by 9pm.

Of course it’s one thing to come to a conclusion and want to make a change and actually take steps toward improving, 

I said yesterday I think meditation might be part of the answer. I’ve since had advice from my friend Vis on a few apps to try and a Headspace series on Netflix to check out. I’m excited to get started. I’m hopeful. 

I also think that this is no different than anything else in life, that balance is key. And that change can be slow. I need to figure out where the “me” time fits into the routine and then form a good habit. It won’t work if it’s an afterthought that gets skipped everyday because something else is demanding attention.

This is part of the reason I’m backing off in my other goals. I’m not abandoning exercise, but instead will be devoting less time to it. Same with worrying about it (or healthy eating or productivity in general). I swear I spend more time and energy thinking about these things than actually doing anything about them. So why not let it go mentally and focus on the “here and now?” Good thought right??!! 

So that’s it today. Time to quit writing about it and just do it. 

It’s Saturday and I estimate I have about an hour before people start needing stuff. Gotta take advantage of that while I can. 

Cheers to the weekend! 

~Miss SugarCookie