2019-01-04 Dream-State Writing

Twice yesterday, from different sources, I was given the advice of writing first thing in the day. The first instance was in a lecture where the person giving the talk was explaining that when a person first wakes up, and their mind is still transitioning from the subconscious state of dreaming to the conscious state of being awake, it is the perfect opportunity to write. She said that when you are in that transition, which she called the “Dream-state” (I think), the logical thinking brain has not yet taken over the thought processes. It is the perfect opportunity to write and capitalize on a heightened, potentially more creative and open position the mind is in.

The second instance was when I met with Teri, my mentor from last semester and she urged me to take time each morning, whether it be over my morning coffee or before getting to work on anything else, and just write. Of course her advice was more about just carving out time to do that than anything else I think, but both sources provide a solid argument toward the same end.

I’ve been writing in the mornings about 90 percent of the time. I wouldn’t say I’m necessarily taking advantage of the state of my consciousness though as the burden of my waking state is an almost immediate “on” switch for my logical brain. The moment I open my eyes the wheels start to turn. I’m not sure this is a thing I can control, but perhaps as my life and priorities change I can “learn” how to change it.

Interestingly enough, I started this blog post yesterday afternoon after spending the whole day lost in a bunch of small tasks I was doing to try and make myself feel more productive with .. something. My thoughts all morning we’re about how I was procrastinating doing “actual” work and also about the dream I was having when Jim’s alarm clock went off.

I have an alarm in my phone I set when I’m with the kids and it’s “just in case” I sleep all the way to 7am. I have to wake them at 7. I typically wake before that though, so I’m not used to being abruptly jarred from a sleeping state. Jim’s alarm goes off before my body and mind are ready and I don’t like it. Two mornings in a row I was dreaming when the alarm went off.

So connecting the dots with the idea of taking advantage of a semi-conscious dream state when first waking, I may try to turn the alarm frown upside down by grabbing a notebook when that alarm goes off and write for 20 minutes. The last two mornings, my musings would have been all about the dreams I was having.

In my other blog, I have a category called “from the maker of dreams” and when I have written a dream out into story form, that’s where those are filed. It might be more appropriate to transition those stories to this blog. I think too much about organization and categorization and collection and definition and labels. So what though I guess, that’s just me.

Yesterday my dream was a very clear and cohesive story which seemed to have a point and purpose and was really going somewhere. Sometimes dreams don’t make any sense, but this one made complete sense and I think worth exploring a little. It was so vivid I recounted it at the breakfast table to Jim and that solidified it in my mind. I don’t have enough time now to write it out (it was long and involved) but the theme was very dystopian (or perhaps just alternate reality) and the scene opened with me in a long line/group of women having a small amount of personal effects/essentials gathered in our arms evaluated and scrutinized before allowing us to proceed. As if that was all we were going to be allowed to take with us where we were being sent. Yeah, worth writing out for sure.

Today’s dream was less impactful, more random and more ordinary. I was going to a music concert and had two tickets though I was alone. There was a rush to get to the stage when they opened the doors despite the fact that the seats were numbered. I was in the front row, number 27 and of course the seat next to me was vacant. I offered the girl who ushered me to my seat the open seat and she smiled and thanked me and said she had to get back to doing her job. The most noteworthy thing in the dream would probably be the ride I had to take in the elevator to get down to the concert floor level. the fact that it was insignificant in the dream was significant because riding in elevators in my dreams never, never has ended well before. They typically turn into nightmares, actually, so the fact that I got on and off and didn’t even remember that was part of the dream (at first) was interesting.

Anyway, my thoughts are scattered now, a triangulation between dreams and writing and reality. Reality being work and responsibility and the fact that it’s almost 10 and just like yesterday, I haven’t started work yet. Last week I used the holiday as an excuse of why I only worked 4 hours all week and this week I’ve barely worked that much and it’s already Friday. I’m running out of excuses. If I start now and work until 2, that will be 4 more hours, but that feels horrible. Ugh! Lots more to say on EVERYTHING.. alas I must stop here.

Clash, the Titans Whisper in their Dreams,

~Miss SugarCookie

2018-08-29 Elevator Nightmares

I would not say I necessarily have any re-occurring dreams or nightmares but I definitely have reoccurring themes within them. I could probably go on and on about dreams but it almost always seems like a silly thing to spend time writing about. I mean, the question of what it all means will never really be answered and it’s like a dream itself in that the thoughts about it are fleeting and quickly forgotten.

Every once in a while though I have one that’s so crystal clear that it lingers. Last night (or rather this morning), I had one just before I woke up and it had one of the classic elements that appears frequently in my dreams, which is the inclusion of an elevator. It’s always bad news.

This time I was going for a job interview in a building and the appointment was on the 5th or 6th floor. I made it up to the lobby of that floor just fine but realized a little too late that I had forgotten to put a new top on. That’s right – I was topmess. I’m sitting in the lobby waiting to be introduced to my interviewer holding my arm up to my chest so as not to expose my bare breasts. I was horrified but also apparently equally horrified by the proposition of going back to my car to get my top and being late for the appointment. What? Cuz being late is worse than being topless ??!!

So then the administrative assistant came out into the lobby with the dude I was meeting and he took a look at me and said “we’re done here”. I was mortified. After that I decided to go back to my car to finish getting dressed (thank goodness) and proceeded to think I could somehow explain my way out of the situation.

I went back in the building, now fully clothed, and got on the elevator with the intent of going to the 5th or 6th floor. I spent the rest of the Dream in that elevator. The doors would open and close, People got on with me off agaun, and I even had conversations with them but I never landed on the floor I wanted and never got out.

There was a floor with a gym, which was really cool. It was my gym too so if I were to get a job there, I could join those people every day. I thought about how great of an idea that was, to have a gym in the same building where you work. Another floor was a daycare. Then there were other floors with offices and I People who got on with whom I tried to explain my situation and reasoning I was going to use to explain to mr. Interviewer why I showed up half naked.

They all found the floors they were looking for without any trouble. Finally I was on floor 4 and going up and was sure the next stop was redemption. But the elevator just kept going up, up. The girl next to me said she was going to 22. “Great”, I said.

As we neared that floor the elevator started to sway and I realized for the first time that there was a window to the outside. I’d been in tall buildings before and had felt the sway of the building being up so high. She said “yeah, that happens up here”. Then it got worse.

The building was tipping and bending and I was stuck in the damn elevator staring out at other buildings were were about to collide with. Defying the laws of nature, the building recovered and started swaying back up again. She said, “you get used to that working here”. Then it started to sway back toward the ground and this time I could see the ground rising up and was sure the building was going to snap and I was going to die. That’s when I woke up.

I’ve had nightmares with elevators so often that now when I get on one for real, I’m always expecting something bad to happen. I’m gonna get stuck, or plummet to my death, or have to spend eternity riding up and down. That’s ridiculous but that’s how the brain works.

What does it mean?? Well, of course I don’t know but I felt compelled to write this down as evidence in case something ever DOES happen in the future. 😱


~Miss SugarCookie

2017-10-30 Waking Up in Maui 🌺

I woke up to the sound of roosters crowing. That was about 2AM. They have been at it off and on since then and it’s almost 6AM now. I think the kids are still sleeping though I can’t see how they could given the now almost constant crowing. We are very much in a local residential area and I knew there would be unfamiliar things, but I never expected that one. Still, I don’t care, because I’m waking up in Hawaii and that is seriously amazing!

We are staying at an AirBnb in Kihei (key-hey) which is on the west coast of the island. It feels warm and tropical and there’s no solid glass on the windows, just strips of glass like a set of blinds you can open and close so there is not a lot of separation from the nature and noise outside. The kids are in one room and I am in another. It’s a five hour time difference between here and home so it may only be 6 here but its 11AM in Nebraska.

When we arrived last night we got our bags and the car we are borrowing and made our way to get groceries, gas, and dinner. By the time we got to the house, it was only 8:30, but we had been up for over 20 hours and really done for. I think we were all asleep by 9. The time difference may affect things a bit, but if anything, we should be up and ready to roll when the sun comes up.

I’m not sure what is on the agenda for today. I intended to let them sleep in as long as they can to recover from the travel day yesterday and then we can look at the map and decide what’s next. We will most assuredly walk to the beach and jump in the ocean. We are also going to meet up with my friend and former co-worker, Ken, and his family for dinner. After these first couple nights at the AirBnb, we will be staying at his place and taking care of his house and cat while they are away on vacation.

He LIVES in Hawaii and is going somewhere else for a vacation. Doesn’t that seem just outrageous! 😃

Now that I am finally here and looking out a bedroom window at lush tropical plants bursting with flowers and feeling the difference in the air, it’s finally real. I made it!

I made it here and now I’m going to make the most of it. The sun is up now and the roosters have been joined by a whole host of other birds welcoming the day. It’s time for me to do the same.

Aloha Kakahiaka, 🌺
~Miss SugarCookie