I’m not ashamed of my love of numbers. I’ll be the first to admit I geek out about dates, and apps that keep track of stats and display pretty dashboards, and how I have a tendency to spend time adding it all up and dividing by the lowest common denominator so it all comes out smooth. I’m satisfied with whole numbers and don’t care for decimals too much unless we’re talking percentages. Then my eyes light up. I dig the number 3 and all numbers divisible by 3. 4 is pretty badass too.

Have you ever heard somebody call a number “badass” before? No?? I’m not surprised. 34 is my lucky number and I’ve often thought about seeing a numerologist to have my “numbers read.” If we weren’t in a pandemic, I think I would google for a local person or business that could do that for me. I dated a guy once who had it done. I was very intrigued.

Well, I was dating him but he wasn’t dating me apparently and when it comes to the dating world, that’s generally a problem. I digress.

Anyway, so I’m a numbers nerd most of the time. Sometimes, though, I think about throwing my hands up and dividing it all by zero. I’m not gonna lie, I’ve been thinking about death a lot lately.

If you think about it.. the two are very similar. How come it is that human beings can engineer calculations to understand quantum physics but we can’t figure out how to divide by zero. That the answer is elusive in the same way that what happens when you die remains a mystery. It’s not meant to be known or understood. It’s beyond our comprehension.

The truth is, the more we engage with science, the more we understand about the universe and its properties. And the more we learn, the more we uncover how flawed our previous understanding was. Think about that for a hot minute.

Humans thought the world was flat. And we were wrong. Some of the calculations of the most brilliant minds that have existed have been since proven wrong. Einstein knew there was a flaw in his work and made up a variable to sweep it under a rug and make it all come out smooth. People gravitate toward wanting things to make sense; to be completely explainable without a doubt.

Then someone else comes along with a better telescope or microscope or a superior computer processor or.. possibly.. a more evolved brain. One that’s capable of looking at the universe with a different lens. That leads to discoveries that disprove the theories that were previously widely accepted as fact.

Jim and I sometimes watch these Nova documentaries which talk a lot about this kind of stuff and it’s fascinating. We nerd out about outer space and how much humans have learned or thought they have understood of the universe by studying space. Sometimes I watch and find it hard to believe we have the technology to calculate the distances between galaxies and how big some are and how small others are and what they are composed of.

So much has been documented and classified. How many people have dedicated their lives to the study of outer space? The answer is a lot. An incredible amount of time and money and resources have been spent on trying to get a deeper understanding of the universe.

And still, we can’t divide by zero. Maybe that’s the biggest flaw. That were trying to force the numbers to come out smooth. Maybe it’s not meant to be smooth or maybe approaching it all as a mathematical equation in the first place is fundamentally wrong.

Try this instead.

Right where you are right now, lay flat down on the ground on your back. Stretch your arms up over your head and make your body as tall as it can be horizontally. Then relax every muscle and let your arms rest at your sides, palms up. Let your feet fall to the sides. Let gravity pull the weight of your body down. Feel your torso sink toward the center of the Earth. Close your eyes. Feel the energy flowing from the ground through your extremities with every breath. Feel that everything is connected.

Pretty cool huh?

Who needs numbers and stats when you can do that?! So satisfying.

Cheers to just being alive,
~Miss SugarCookie