Sometime in the last few weeks, the number of followers for my WordPress blogs tip-toed over the threshold of 700. It only took like 4 years. š (Technically 10.5 years since I started my first WordPress blog in 2010.)
Itās actually pretty good for a random human simply musing day-in-and-day-out about the same 12 topics. Over time Iāve had many thoughts about what I could do to make this blog into a more helpful, marketable, informative, or entertaining place to visit. And each time I get an idea about that, it feels like more work than itās worth. Plus I canāt seriously commit to rating cheeseburgers, being a travel blogger, or trying to give advice about ANYTHING as a self-proclaimed expert.
To be fair, there are literally thousands of folks out there just like me trying to utilize WordPress to build their name or establish a brand for what they are interested in āsellingā or what they are passionate about. So the world doesnāt really need or want any more of that. Or maybe we do, because every human connection is valuable to someone. But itās not what Iām about here.
So what am I about? Why do I keep doing this week after week?
Well, the tag line for this blog has not changed since its inception four years ago. Itās my attempt to put focus, each and every day on living a healthy and more fulfilling life. Iāve lost my way in life a few times, and part of that comes from coasting and not really paying attention to time passing. How can a person lose 5 years of their life and not realize that is happening? The answer is pretty freaking easily if said person goes about their business every day working for someone else without thoughts for what they really want to get out of life for themselves.
My life has changed drastically over the last four years and I can honestly say I feel like I have the secret to living the life I want to live figured out. However, it doesnāt matter how sweet things have become, the daily struggles in life persist.
I may think I have it all figured out but I still have days (sometimes weeks) where Iām in a funk and just canāt seem to snap out of the rotten mood Iāve found myself in. Kind of like yesterday.
Iāve been told to keep my personal melodrama out of my poetry for my own good, but this blog is a different beast and so I have zero issues confessing that I broke into tears like 5 times yesterday. Maybe more.
My emotional swells were exacerbated by the random watching of the movie 2012 with Jim and Z yesterday afternoon. When I saw that is what they were watching, I was all like āoh this is the one where they all almost die like 50 times. Not an exaggeration.
In fact, if you count all the ānear missesā of buildings and bridges crashing down, the ground opening, and last second getaways, it might be in the hundreds. I knew this when I started watching and it stillā¦. STILL got to me. Each emotional moment of the āfamiliesā journey made me cry. What the hell.??!!
At least that was sort of heart-wrenching. Whatās not heart-wrenching is a rando episode of bachelor in paradise which also made me cry. Thatās when I know itās hormones or some other bullshit causing me grief and not actual sad stuff. My poor daughter looks at me and says āoh mama.ā She reaches over from the adjacent couch, touches my arm, and smiles. She gets me.
I say with a weak smile and tears welling up in my eyes, āyeah, itās that time.ā
āThat timeā being any given day where Iām emotional for no reason. About 10 days ago I had my period, a whole week early, and now Iām spotting again which is not typical. So Iām definitely going to tag hormones as the cause. And they are probably also responsible for my persistent headache and upset stomach.Ā
Anyway, so yesterday was one of those strange funk days I struggled getting through, which is exactly why I canāt just declare Iāve got life figured out and drop the mic. š¤
Itās why I need this blog. Itās my way to write through whatās ailing me and figure stuff out. Itās my therapy and the jumping-off point of all my crazy ideas, dreams, and personal experiments. Itās my version of therapy. And oh, by the way, itās way cheaper than an actual therapist!
Today the clandestine Miss SugarCookie has 706 followers and at least 4 actual humans reading on a regular basis. And Iām extremely grateful for each and every one!! š„°
Thatās it for Monday. Time to start climbing through the week.
Peace and love,
~Miss SugarCookie