2020-01-29 Ahhh!! The Final Countdown… 💍💕🥂

The past few days have been all about gettin’ shit done. We’re kicking ass at this point and hopefully by Friday no detail will have escaped out attention.

The numbers keep getting smaller and today it’s now 4 days until I throw the biggest party of my life! I mean, we’re gonna start partying on Saturday night and keep the good vibes going straight through to Sunday when Jim and I promise to love each other for the rest of our lives. Whoa!!

I would say I’ve had my fair share of anxiety this past few days which has been exacerbated by some work stuff. Some sales pitch one of my bosses wanted me to run. They basically wanted me to demo a new software system I had not even logged into before. I had to spend several hours working with it and putting together a script of how best to navigate through the app and talk about all the features and functions. The whole time I was doing that, I kept thinking, I still have to review and tweak the script for my wedding. Not to mention write my vows!

The work stuff?? Ain’t nobody got time for that!! 😂 But you do what you gotta sometimes and I put in the work and did the demo yesterday. I mean, the actual demo was only 30 minutes but the prep time was like 5 hours total. I think it went well so I’m already anticipating getting to do it again. 🤷‍♀️ That’s fine as long it’s not until after I’m back from the second part of our big adventure (yeah, shortly after getting hitched it’s honeymoon time!!).

In related news.. when I picked the wedding date 02022020 the one and only thing on my mind was the date itself and the numbers. I mean, it’s a rare palindrome for an 8 digit date and works in North America AND Europe (where they typically do ddmmccyy instead of mmddccyy). What I was not thinking of is the fact that it’s Groundhog Day AND the Super Bowl!! Jim and I didn’t even realize it was the super bowl until a couple months ago. That goes to show what kind of football fans we are. Which is to say, not at all. 🏈 We are so meant for each other! 😂

Anyway.. one of the things on my to-do list today is to run through and time the script and tweak it and oh yeah, write those vows. We want to keep the actual ceremony brief. Neither of us like to be the center of attention. One of our questions for the event space coordinator was “where can we hide while the guests are arriving?” Yeah that.

In related news, the wedding video is not done yet and it’s tough for me to press on the person I hired to do it because it’s my darling daughter. She’s been complaining a lot in the last week how stressed she is with applying for scholarships and filling out applications, not to mention another 5 hours on Monday going to the senior picture session her grandmother set up and paid for. That’s 5 hours of our lives we will never get back. At least the pics turned out well. I’ve asked several times what the eta is on the video and she’s going to go ballistic if I ask again. I just hate things being out of my control. Ugh!

In other related news, I think by this Saturday this house will be in better shape and cleaner than it has been in a long time. Jim and I have both been working on our respective projects. Not to mention the person he hired to fix some stuff that’s needed attention for a long time. It’s funny to me the things he thinks are important and how different that is than my list. I want things to be picked up, clean, and of course have been freaking out about the actual wedding details. He’s more concerned with fixing stuff wrong with the house.

In my head, nobody is going to notice some of what he’s focused on. But.. I’m not complaining because those things are finally getting done and the house will be in better shape. I mean, the faucet in the master bathroom leaking on the counter a little would not be noticeable to a guest, but I’m happy to have it taken care of.

And yeah.. I also don’t think running a broom and mop on the b-ball court in the basement is necessary, but it’s important to him. I’ll probably be doing that today (among other cleaning tasks). 🏀

Originally I was planning to go to Jazzercise every morning this week and eat right so I feel great this weekend, but that has not happened. I’ve been preoccupied with other things and have not even had time to hit the treadmill much. And every meal seems to be just grabbing whatever from the refrigerator and cupboards (which is a lot of snacks that aren’t so healthy). Oh well.. it all is what it is. I’m sure that come Saturday, what exercise I have gotten or not gotten and what I have eaten this week will not matter. That is what I have to keep telling myself…. whatever I’m freaking out about in the current moment will not matter.

Wow – that’s lots of related news. I guess it’s just where my head is at right now. My hour is up and I’m gonna get crackin’ on some more cleaning. 🧹🧽🧼

XOXO, ❤️

~Miss SugarCookie

2020-01-25 All About It

(not exactly the expected topic for today but a nice break from the cray-cray anyway)…

Today’s post is brought to you by Hoodie Allen singing his hit “All About It” featuring the impossibly incredible Ed Sheeran. It’s the song that inspired my purchase of the album “People Keep Talking”, which is not my typical type of jam and yet I love it so much!

When Hoodie comes up in the shuffle when the kids are in the car, they always say “It’s Hoodie Alien” cuz the first time they saw his name on the display they misread it. He’s been Hoodie Alien 👽 ever since. 😜

There’s this thing I do when I fall hard for a new artist. I hunt them down and find out where they are playing and I go there. I’ve had some epic trips that have sprung from this approach and it works great because of the travel bug I get from time to time. I’ve been to tons of local shows of course, but my more memorable concerts have been in red rocks in CO, Kansas City, and as far as Belfast in Northern Ireland (which was actually in Bangor but I stayed in Belfast and traveled there by train the day of the concert).

Anyway, when I started to be “All About It” with Mr. Alien, I researched if and where he was touring. As it turned out, he had a date in omaha and so I did that thing I do and buy tix on the spot. It was a Monday show in Benson if I recall correctly and while Monday’s would not be my first choice, it didn’t matter.

My mom was wanting me to drive with her to Broomfield Colorado the weekend before, but we would for sure be home in plenty of time for the show. My mom typically gets restless visiting my brother and his family and I knew she would be ready to roll first thing that Monday morning, giving me plenty of time once I arrived back in Omaha.

As it t turns out, she became more antsy than usual and ended up wanting to leave on Sunday. Fine by me! We packed up the car mid morning on Sunday and the plan was to hit the gas station and the Starbucks on our way to the interstate, which we did. We got gas and rolled into the adjacent plaza and I ran in to get my latte. By the time I came out, I could tell something was horribly wrong.

“The car is acting really strange, idling really rough”, she said. I was taking the first turn behind the drivers seat and so I hopped in and started to pull out.

By the time I rounded the first turn out of one parking lot and Into a larger one, it was shaking really hard and then the check engine light came on. I pulled into an empty parking spot and turned off the car. The car was practically brand new and we were looking at each other like “what the hell”.

My brothers house was less than half a mile away so we called him to come get us and let him know what was going on. We then made calls to my moms insurance company and triple A. Since it was Sunday most auto repair places were closed but there was one that was open not too far down the road. We had the car towed.

Long story short, my mom accidentally put diesel gas in the fuel tank and they had to drain the whole thing and flush it out. Luckily we did not run it long enough to ruin the engine. Needless to say all of that took like a day to figure out and the only place that would do that flush was the Jeep dealership which wasn’t going to be open until Monday morning.

I ended up not getting home until really late on Monday and missed the hoodie alien show. Better luck next time!

Except there’s never been a next time.. I fell out of love with Hoodie and let go of ever seeing him play. Probably I was always more in love with Ed anyway, (who I did see in concert of course!).

Now every time I hear that song, I think of that not-so-epic adventure. True story. Ha.

That’s whole bit is a brief departure from all the wedding nonsense that is taking over my life right now (1 week to go! 😱💍🎉)!

I now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

😘😘

~Miss SugarCookie

2020-01-24 One Way to Start a Friday

I woke up shortly after 3am and was immediately consumed by thoughts about everything going on. A veritable Rolodex of current events.

1. 8 days until the wedding. 😱

2. Cleaning the house for the party.

3. Being so scattered I missed my sisters birthday lunch and wondering if she’s going to hold it against me somehow and not forgive me (were supposed to go to a comedy show this Saturday and she’s not being very responsive over text).

4. The school work I’ve pretty much been ignoring for like 2 weeks.

5. My daughter’s senior picture dilemmas.

6. The endless to-do list I chip away at everyday and continue to feel like I’m not getting enough done each day.

7. Details about the ceremony, decorations, and clothing that’s not been ironed out yet.

8. The ice covering our driveway and sidewalks that needs to get taken care of before next Saturday and the weather is not cooperating.

9. My darling daughter finding a new program she wants to apply for for college in the fall which is a big change from what’s been her plan for just about this entire senior year.

10. My work wanting me to run a demo of some new software for a sales pitch next week and I haven’t seen anything but screenshots of it until this point. The main UX person is on vacation and they are like, we’ll get Shyla to do it. Sure, no problem guys.

11. And for the love of all the cheese in the universe, how I’m going to do my hair on the day of the wedding. Yeah.. that struggle is sadly a real thing.

Needless to say, I could not fall back asleep. When it got to 4am I opted to take half a Xanax. Incredibly, I still had trouble falling back asleep after that but eventually I did.

Then when I had to wake up at 6:30 to roll with the morning routine, I was super groggy. I prepared breakfast in the dark, fed the fishes, loaded the dishes into the dishwasher, and trudged around the house making sure the grumpy teenagers were awake and getting ready to go. Thing 1 is not a morning person and her eyes and voice (when she elects to speak in the morning which normally she doesn’t) are daggers stabbing anyone who speaks to her or crosses her path. Thing 2 is generally in an ok mood in the mornings but has a serious problem getting out of bed and getting ready to go. He takes his meds, puts shoes on, and gives me a hug and tells me he loves me before following her out the door.

Everyday that nobody gets murdered is a good day. 😂

Jim comes in to eat “can I turn the lights on?”

Me.. /shrug “sure.”

By 7:30 everyone is gone and I turned all the lights back off and went back to bed. I still laid there a bit, awake and thinking about everything but again, I eventuality fell back asleep. I really need it. I thought.. I’ll wake up at 9 and go to Jazzercise.

I woke up at 9:30 and was like “whelp, so much for that master plan”. I was still super groggy and probably laid there for another half an hour trying to really wake up.

I mean, I’m not super excited to get up when cleaning bathrooms, sweeping, and dusting is the itinerary for the morning.

Despite how I’m always feeling that I’m not productive enough, I do feel like I’ve gotten a lot done this week. I promised myself I would take a little time Friday for doing something sort of pamper-y. Hey!! Today is Friday!!

I’m done with my morning chores and the bathrooms and basement are behind me now. I had a bite to eat and now I’m walking the treadmill and looking forward to treating myself to a pedicure this afternoon before I pick my son up from school. I haven’t had a pedi at a nail salon in like forever. 💅

***

Eight days from now I’ll be getting ready to walk down the aisle and take a vow.

Sixteen days from now that will all be in the rear view and I’ll be headed to Hawaii.

Twenty four days from now I’ll be coming down off of the high of all of it, facing reality and my new life as a married woman, wife, and looking toward the future and all the possibilities. I have no delusions that life is going to calm down. You always think it will, and then it doesn’t. That’s just the nature of things.

On that note, it’s time for me to roll out.

Cheers to Pedicures, Pampering, and the Weekend,

~Miss SugarCookie

2020-01-22 Scattertrain Snowday

Scattertrain is what happens when you cross a fast moving train with some highly caffeinated thought patterns.

By now I’m sure anyone who reads this blog (my sincere gratitude to you kind souls 😘😘) that the subject of the wedding is wearing thin. Truly, though, it is what it is and I can’t help it if it’s like on the top of the pile of all the thoughts in my crazy brain.

(10 days to go 😱).

Right now we are on the cusp of being able to see exactly what the forecast is for our big party weekend. It looks like it’s going to be a white wedding. For real!

It’s snowing right now and school was called off. I’m planning to go to Jazzercise and hoping that’s not cancelled too. All those times they urged to get on the text notification list for weather and other last minute class cancellations which I completely ignored. Now I’m all like “huh, maybe I should have signed up for that?!”.

No matter, I’ve got lots of errands to run today and me and the Jeepie are goinna have a good time playing in the snow. 😊

My daughter came down the stairs this am just as Jim was wrapping breakfast and we just stared at her and smiled. She’s all like “What.. where’s Cooper”.

I said “he’s still sleeping”.

She’s like “wut?” With a look that let us know the lightbulb had just gone off. Then she said “wut.. no school? No way. No fair!”.

I’m like “yeah, don’t you hate it when you could have slept in and didn’t,” with a wink. She sat on the stairs and started texting her peeps (not the local ones I presume). Shrug. That’s what happens when they don’t make the call till 6am.

She went back to bed, Jim went to work, and I continued with my duties as resident princess in charge. Yeah, I thought about that this morning. I do chores like cooking and cleaning like Cinderella and feed the squirrels and birds and fish and all manner of other creatures like Snow White. This morning I crushed up some old tortilla chips and braved the backyard to fill up the bowl we keep out for the squirrels. It’s probably not smart to feed the outdoor animals because they can start to depend on the food for survival, but it’s fun to put the bowl right next to the window for the cats to watch. 😜

Anyway, I sleep like sleeping beauty, swim in my pool like The little mermaid and have my own personal gene granting my every wish. You get the point. I’m like all the princesses in one package. If there was a princess that was a poet and also did IT work as a side gig, I’d already have claim to that name. And pretty soon, I’ll be the princess that’s also a production editor at a new online lit magazine.

Keep that last bit on the DL as that little fashion nugget is a secret between you and me. Not sure how much of a secret but whatever. I’m just playing a behind the scenes role in that, trying to stay out of the spotlight and line of sight for now. The idea is still only 1/4th baked at this point and probably will stay that way until the dust settles on the whole wedding thing.

Still, I have a few tasks on my to-do list that are domain name and website launch related. It’s like I’ve been prepping for this thing for like the last 10 years of my life. I’m pretty sure I started my first WordPress in 2010 (thanks to Vis!! 😘) and have been messing with blogs and themes ever since. Still, I like to stick with a minimalistic approach, so the focus stays on the content.

Wow.. that was a serious tangent and not at all where my brain was at when I started walking today.

I’ve got more to pour over but it’s going to have to wait. I’m gonna give myself some extra time out on the roads this AM. It’s gonna snow all day I think.

Keeping it Frosty,

~Miss SugarCookie

2020-01-21 Nothing to See Here, Just a Little Clucking Going On 🐥

I know what I’m gonna want to know 5 years from now when I look back on this day. That it was 0 degrees when I woke up and I didn’t want to leave my house and oh, by the way, I’m getting married in 11 days and trying really hard not to freak out.

It’s gonna be fine, ya’ll. It’s all gonna he just peachy. But really I’m having a hard time with my brain. The lack of focus is serious and I’m sort of like that chicken with its head cut off or trying to cross the road and not knowing why or something else like that which has everything to do with being a chicken and making excuses for my behavior.

Yesterday I had a date with my mom and sister for lunch for my sisters birthday (which is today) and I completely spaced it. That’s so not like me. I’m typically a really reliable human being. But there I was, standing in my kitchen at 11:42am trying to decide what to eat for lunch. Then I get a text from her “you coming?”. Total face palm.

I felt like such an asshole but what can I say. There’s no excuse really. I’m not actually a chicken so there’s no excuse.

In related news, I’m supposed to go to a comedy show with her Saturday courtesy of her fiancé and when I told her I’d take her out to dinner before the show she says, “what show?”. Double face palm. Was that supposed to be a surprise and nobody told me?! Whelp, that one is not really on me I think.

Anyway, I’m wandering around like I’m from Iowa and tried this morning to put together a to-do list. Today that involves one last meetup with the gal from the event space to finalize preparations and check the AV setup and make sure that all works smooth with what we have.

As I type this I’m taking video of the cats in the kitchen to see how much video I can get on the memory card I have. We’re doing our own since it costs like $$$ to hire a human being to push a button. I’m so cheap.

It does bear repeating though that anything and everything with the “W” word attached costs like a gazillion dollars more than it should. Literally hundreds to thousands of $$& to get someone to take pictures for a couple of hours. I called this morning to see how much the cleaners near our house charges to steam the dress (it’s kinda wrinkled) and she said $85. Wut??!!

That’s 85 bucks to produce some steam near the skirt and get the wrinkles out. I bet I can do it for free. I just don’t want to ruin the material but how hard can it be? As long as the hot iron does not get pressed down on the dress. That’s the kind of thing I’m wandering around thinking about.

Oh, and I missed Jazzercise this morning because I was pressed for time to get some progress on a work project before my 10am meeting but now that’s being moved to Thursday. But it’s ok I missed Jazzercise cuz it’s still single digits outside. Brrrrrr. I do have to go to Nuri at 11 but now I’ll have time to take a shower and get dressed like a proper human.

What else? Oh yeah, because it’s my sisters birthday today, that means it’s also my exes birthday. That would be Matt not Brian. I was thinking about him last night and a little melancholy. I hope he’s well. He probably does not know I’m about to get married. I mean, he knows I’m engaged but there’s really no reason he would have insight into when. We have a few mutual friends but nobody that’s coming to the wedding.

I always thought we would get married someday, but that life never happened. It’s strange to be thinking about that with about a week and a half before I marry someone else. It’s strange to know you still have love for someone like that. I wonder if I’ll ever really be over it? And is that ok if I’m not? Does it take anything away from Jim or our life together? I don’t think so.

I think the depths of the human heart are vast and the capacity for love is great. I don’t have to let go of anyone I’ve ever loved. I can just hold it all in a special place inside and know that it’s just a part of who I am.

I wonder if I should wish him happy birthday? There’s no harm in that right? I dunno.

***

I’ve got to go check the video camera and move my 10am meeting to Thursday. Perhaps there will be more clucking from this chick later. (Probably not).

Peace and Love,

~Miss SugarCookie

2020-01-19 My Kingdom for a Good Day in the Garden

I once again have nothing to talk about. Can this be right? I’m gathering my thoughts into a bouquet and the clippings are meager, flowers sparse. The earth is frozen outside my windows and despite the bright sun, single digit temps are a huge deterrent to venturing out.

None the less, I’m taking my daughter to have senior pics today down at Lauritzen Gardens, a garden in bloom in the middle of winter. It’s a place we considered getting married at but the space is a little much for our quaint little gathering. Our numbers are too large to have a ceremony here at the house but too small for a lot of spaces people gravitate to for a wedding reception.

The senior picture thing happening today sort of feels like another failed mom moment in the works. Probably most seniors had pictures last summer and fall when it was nice outside and prime picture taking weather. But not us… we missed that boat and so now it’s down to the deadline for pictures making it into the yearbook. So to the only garden in town we go. My poor daughter.

Don’t feel too bad for her though.. it will be fine. She’s not poor, she’s a spoiled princess. She’s got a bright future ahead of her and this little bit will be just fine. In the grand scheme it’s no biggie anyway. Not that it matters, but I never had senior pictures. I never had a graduation party or any fancy dress for any dances in high school. She’s had just about everything she’s wanted and in May we’ll be having a big party to celebrate her graduation. The pictures are just a small slice of all of it.

Or at least that’s what I’m telling myself to feel better about procrastinating it until just now.

In related news her grandmother (her dad’s mom) offered to schedule her with her photographer, which she has done with her other granddaughters before Z. That’s fine with me, but a little dicey with the logistics. Z wants to do it but she doesn’t want to go with her grandmother to the place, she wants to go with yours truly.

Her grandmother disowned me the day her son and I started telling people we were splitting up. She tried to talk me out of it and that’s the last conversation I ever had with the woman. She, of course, was on her son’s side and assumed that I was to blame for ruining our marriage and his life and my kids’ lives in the process. I was her daughter for 18 years and she never spoke to me after that. What am I supposed to do with that?

Fast forward 10 years and I still don’t know what to do with this situation where my Z would rather have that senior experience with her mom than her grandmother. I shrug and tell Z that she just needs to thank her grandmother and say she’s grateful, but be honest about how she feels. I have no voice in this. I have no authority either.

It will all work out. Of that I’m certain. I’ve been taking pictures and saving bits of artwork and assignments and artifacts from special events for 18 years. Her last semester of high school, with senior prom, graduation, parties, our trip to California, and making arrangements for summer and prepping for moving into dorm rooms will all be incredible experiences. Like I said, she’s a spoiled princess.

That’s the story I’m sticking to today to smooth this senior picture business over in my brain. /shrug .. Whatever.

I think that’s gonna be it for today. It’s the last day of a long weekend and come Monday, I’ve got to try and get back into school and work and help my Thing #2 refocus on his school too. Perhaps I can keep myself distracted with all of that enough to forget what’s happening in 13 short days 😱!!

Probably not. 😜

Say Cheese,

~Miss SugarCookie

2020-01-18 In Two Short Weeks

Yesterday we got our marriage license. Isn’t it amazing it only costs like 32 dollars to get legally married and potentially thousands of dollars to get legally divorced. Alternately, it costs potentially thousands of dollars to get ceremonially married and just two cents to get ceremonially divorced.

Today we met with our officiant and he seems like a pretty great guy. The ceremony itself won’t take more than about 15 or 20 minutes. I suppose the actual ceremony doesn’t cost much either. It’s just all the stuff we think we have to have— decorations, food, cake, flowers, drinks, music, a guest book and pen. Yeah and when it comes to weddings, nothing is cheap. That guest book and pen cost like 15 bucks.

Having that extra day together yesterday was great. We got a ton of stuff done and then got to spend the whole evening together kid-free. It kinda felt like a Saturday and so today kind of feels like a Sunday.

We are doing some cleaning and putting the finishing touches on some things here at the house.

Two weeks from right about now, I’ll be at the event space decorating. Probably my mom and sisters will be helping. Probably I’ll be freaking out. Probably it will all be all right.

I need to walk but I really don’t have much on my mind right now, strange enough. Just happy wanderings. It’s good. Life is good.

Peace,

~Miss SugarCookie