2018-11-15 Pulse Check on My November Diet Goals

We are halfway through November and I at the beginning of the month I had challenged myself to make some changes this month. I might spin this as a healthy Eating thing, but in actuality it’s a healthy drinking thing. My two goals were to not drink coffee and not drink alcohol. Now that it’s been two solid weeks it’s time to check myself.

It’s definitely been a mixed bag of results. As far as alcohol is concerned, I caved in the first week probably because of some social situation. That’s the toughest part, abstaining in some situation that you would normally indulge a little in. I’m trying to minimize those instances this month, partially because I’ve got a lot to get through and partially to support my “healthy drinking” goals.

My fallback position with regards to alcohol has been to continue to minimize. Normally I would have a glass of wine with dinner (or two or three) and I’ve been successful cutting that out so far. I want to say that’s been easy, but it has been a challenge at times. After Long days working and trying to get it all done, I just want that glass to help unwind. There have been a few times that I really wanted to reach for a glass, but I resisted. I’m going to consider that a success. I’ve also been able to minimize in the aforementioned social situations, keeping my intake to one serving. So not too bad

I think my overarching goal is to just cut needless calories, since I don’t have a drinking “problem”, there’s really no other reason to challenge myself in this way. The same is true with coffee. Hell, j don’t even like coffee, I just like the caffeine and cream and sugar.

Getting Coffee has become less of a social “event” since I stopped hanging out with Joshua so much. Instead I found myself substituting my usual mid morning snack, a serving of oatmeal, with coffee. My rational was the extra boost of caffeine and less calories. But I think that with the added cream and sugar, the calorie count was pretty much a wash.

I’ve switched back to oatmeal now and it’s been good. I have also been wanting, literally for years, to cut out caffeine and so this is a step in the right direction. In fact, I’m doing better than I anticipated on this front. A while back I cut a bunch of my caffeine tablets in half and had rolled into the month only talking a half a pill in the mornings.

Today marks day 3 of not having any at all. One morning I just forgot to take my morning “meds”(which is just the circumin, allergy pill, vitamins, and typically caffeine) and then I got busy. Later in the day I realized it and was sort of shocked. I felt ok, and didn’t have any more or less energy and also didn’t have a headache. I think the tapering off was what kept me from having a withdrawal headache. Bonus plan!

After that I just decided to nix the caffeine altogether and see how that was. I do miss that boost of energy, mentally and physically, but I’m going to continue on this path and see how it goes.

As for the rest of my aspirations for healthy eating, I’m really not trying to do too much at once. My main struggle is snacking in the evenings and that has been very hit and miss. Though, as I thought about it this morning, if I can do just the few things I’ve talked about in this post, I’m doing good. Every time I try to do too much, that ends badly. It’s baby steps, and then see how it goes.

There are about two more weeks left in November. I’m going to keep doing what I’m doing and try and guage at that point whether it’s made a positive impact. It could all be just crazy nonsense for no reason, but that attitude does not help. I have to believe these changes are for good or I will definitely fail. The mind is our own worst enemy.

Cheers to Staying the Course,

~Miss SugarCookie

2018-11-03 Accountability is Key

If the only person you are accountable to is yourself, then you are more likely to cave on a goal you have set. There’s success in numbers, in partners, and a solid support system. It doesn’t matter if it’s a career goal or health goal or some other personal goal. If you have people in your corner rooting for you or sharing in trying to achieve some objective it makes things easier. Ok, maybe not easier but certainly more achievable.

Why? Because accountability matters. I would not have been able to get through 30 days of eating only Whole Foods without the support of my beautiful sister and lovely friend Becky. I probably would have quit in the first week. It’s also evident in my attempts to change my bad habits by myself.

Left on my own, I tend to not make great choices. I’m my own worst enemy. It’s day 3 of my personal challenge and let me tell you, it’s a struggle. Yesterday I didn’t have a problem resisting temptation for the new things I’m restricting in my diet, but I ended up substituting those cravings with indulgence in something I’m not restricting. That’s not going to work.

My kids and I went to a trampoline/adventure park last night and after we were done they convinced me to take them for ice-cream. Normally I don’t eat ice-cream and normally I’m not really tempted, but last night I was all like “I’ve been good all day so what’s the harm”. There was nobody around to encourage me in the right direction.

In doing that I broke two of my personal rules. 1. Ice cream 🍨 is on my top 5 no list unless it’s a special occasion, which it wasn’t. 2. Don’t eat in the 3 hours before bed. In other words, give the digestive system 3 hours to process what is in the stomach before bed.

There’s a few other “rules” I always try to live by to maintain, but those two are near the top. So while I stayed within the parameters of my new rules, breaking old ones equates to a failed day. But I’m not throwing in the towel on November. I’m going to call it a “learning opportunity” and the lesson is that sugar IS truly the real enemy and my addiction is real. Ok, so that’s not new news, but it just goes to show that if I say I’m not having coffee with sugar and cream, my mind will look for other ways to get the fix.

What I should be restricting is sugar. I know from the Whole 30 that when push comes to shove, I’ll eat a lot of sweet fruits to try and tame that beast. Including eating those stupid RX bars that are full of sugar from dates. It’s supposed to be an emergency/last resort snack and I was eating them every day. So what’s a girl to do? Cut added sugars again. Can I do that? I don’t know. I’m not sure I can without help.

I need a support system. I need someone to be accountable to besides myself. I need someone who is going to cheer me on and hold me to my word. The first half of the day is always easy for me but as each day drags on, the later it gets, the more my resolve starts to slip away. When that happens, I need someone to remind me what the goal is. My kids are NOT going to help. They are the opposite. It would be nice if I had someone to do this with.

Perhaps I should hit my sister up again on this one. Jim already eats a no sugar diet, but I have a feeling he will disagree with my plan. 🤔 I’ll talk with him on Monday about it and see what he thinks. That gives me the weekend to think about it too. See.. another trick of the mind already looking for loopholes to let me off for the weekend. Ugh! The struggle is real.

In any case, I think that accountability is one of the fundamental components required to meet with success on any goal. If that accountability is external, it’s even more effective. We don’t want to let others down. Also, it’s more enjoyable to do things with other people and share in the experience.

What will happen on day 3? Hopefully it will be better than day 2. It’s time to go find out…

Let’s Do This Saturday Thing We Do,

~Miss SugarCookie

2018-11-02 The November Diet Challenge

I was talking to my friend Josh the other day and the subject of my ex came up. No, this is not going to be another post about that relationship and grief and how to get over shitty stuff. This one is more about my dietary issues. Which is largely a mental thing at this point. I’m healthy and mostly happy with the way I look but can never get away from that little voice in the back of my head that just wants me to give “a little more”.

It’s nothing new, which is why when Josh started talking about Matt my mind started wandering to a time when he was visibly irritated at my constant struggle. Human beings struggle, yo, that’s a fact.

Josh and Matt knew each other before we ever dated, which was so odd because Josh and I also knew each other well before Matt and I dated. It’s a small world. I guess they’ve been hanging out more and more lately and so when I see Josh, he will fill me in.

They have talked about my issues with diet and Matt has openly complained about how that always bugged him. That’s not new news. Again it’s just a reminder for both of us about something that wasn’t right. For him it was an annoyance about a thing he didn’t understand that sometimes meant I would reject partaking in things I like, like cheeseburgers and Sugar and drinking. For me it was an issue that he wasn’t more understanding or supportive. Just one thing in a list of several that is more clear after the fact.

Anyway, Now here we are in the 2nd day of a new month and my grand plan to try and cut back on Sugar has already hit failure. I’m blaming Halloween. I decided that November would be the perfect month to try to cut back on stuff that’s not great for me. I can do 30 days of anything. I proved that when I did the whole 30 back in January, but apparently I can’t as the temptation of chocolate and candy is too strong.

Be that as it may, I can still work on some of my other vices, calories I don’t need, and somehow try and feel better by doing that. As it turns out, alcohol is an easy win, I’m not very tempted by that so I’m committing to 30 days dry. I’m going to try and do the same with coffee and, also cut down on caffeine.

I thought about gluten and dairy too, but I know too much at once can force failure (and make me really grumpy) so I’m on the fence about those things. I really don’t eat/drink that much dairy anyway and I figure as long as I minimize the bread intake, that will be good enough.

What’s the goal? That’s the million dollar question. I would say that between the 5 pounds I gained after the whole 30 in February and the additional 5 I gained being in a new, happy, relationship, losing some of that would be awesome. The second million dollar question is.. how will Jim react or support me? When I told Josh about my thoughts about restricting my diet again, he asked me the same thing.

For sure Jim and I have talked about this before, and he wants to help me, but his angle is that he wants to help me get better mentally and get over my need to lose weight or restrict my diet. I’m not sure how he plans to do that and also not sure how he will react to my plan for November. I guess time will tell.

The kids are at my house this week so There’s nobody to support or not support me and I don’t have any social obligations that would make it difficult to stick to the plan. However, next week there’s more going on and I will be spending a lot of time at his house and that’s when at least one million dollar question will be answered. Isn’t one million dollars enough?

It should be. But I’m have to try and not make this into a relationship “test”. It needs to be more about just making healthy choices. It truly sucks to have the burden of constantly thinking about this stuff. It would be really great if my mind could break free from it. I’m just not sure how one goes about doing that.

Then I think.. it’s not so bad to want to be more healthy. Right??!! It’s an endless cycle. 🙄

Time will tell how I do with what I’ve decided for November. I should do a daily check in with myself for accountability. Hmmm 🤔 what would that look like? Something to think a little more about I guess.

Time to get this Friday Party Started!

29 days to go. 😜

~Miss SugarCookie

2018-06-04 List Of Ten Things…

… to do when you fall asleep at 9PM and wake up before the butt crack of dawn:

1. Open the curtains and windows cuz it’s a beautiful day.

2. Realize the sunrise is amazing and put on sweatpants to stand in your driveway to take some pics.

3. Decide better shots are waiting at the top of the hill and get in your car and drive.

4. Take some great snaps of a pink cloud filled sky from your car while stopped at stoplights.

5. Go to Wal-mart cuz you are out of oatmeal and cilantro and you’re in pajamas already so you’ll fit right in.

6. Get in your car and drive home cuz the sunrise is finished and you’re so over it.

7. Put your groceries away.

8. Change out the filter in your water pitcher.

9. Check Sunday stats in your AWS environment and update the customer metrics spreaadsheet.

10. Hit the Gym!

That’s been my day so far.. and it’s just now only 7:30am!

I’ve got other lists if you are interested. Just ask me. 😜

Getting to the gym early and some ass-hat is on my machine. Not only am I on a different machine, but I forgot my water and that bites. On the bright side, the tunes in my ear are brilliant so far. Right now it’s “The Fear” by Lily Allen. A classic. She was pretty much a one album Wonder, but I still dig when those tunes come up in the shuffle.

Sprinkle in a little Cake and some Imagine Dragons and “Walaa” … Magic!

And just about the time I think it can’t get better, I realize I’m playing one of my favorite gym mix playlists. No wonder. It’s not the Universe that’s magic, it’s just me and another one of my lists.

It’s Monday again and I’m on this kick where I choose some area to focus on and set a goal for the week. This week it’s got to be food and diet, and crossing not one, not two, but 5 things off my June list. Since I’m traveling about half of this month, I’ve got a limited amount of time to work with, and a seemingly never ending list of “stuff” that needs to get done.

On the food thing, I’m instituting a list of restrictions and a few other “rules”. I’m not going all cray-cray with it, like starting that Whole 30 nonsense again (yet). I’m going to see how I do with just a few steps in that general direction first.

1. Gluten free. Yeah… no bread. Bread makes you fat.

2. No added sugars (with a few realistic exceptions). Sugar makes you fat.

3. Minimize dairy.. just a reasonable amount of cheese.

4. Drinking at least 120 oz water every day.

5. Fasting from 8pm till 11am each day

I think that’s enough for now. We’ll see what turns out to be the hardest part.

On the monthly goals list I’m planning to check off the following:

1. Get my W4 changed.

2. Order my summer school books.

3. Get the recall maintenance on my car scheduled/done.

4. Use my Recyclebank points before they go away forever (hey that’s today).

5. Get tomato/pepper cages and get them put in.

Ok, I think that’s enough lists for one day/week. It’s time to stop planning and start crossing that shit off.

Making Monday My Bitch!

~Miss SugarCookie

2018-06-03 A Sunday with Significance

But first.. weekly stats! The top areas of focus this week were sleep and work so I’ll start there.

Sleep.. 7 hours and 12 mites average sleep per night. Score! That’s 12 minutes above goal and I only missed hitting that two of 7 nights. Next stop – 7 and a half. It’s all about baby steps though, and not being too unrealistic. This week I’ll be with My sweetheart and that means I’m liable to get less sleep. I should set an overall long term goal to be to average out to 7 hours a night. My Fitbit supports calculating averages for a week, month, three months, and for the year. Interesting that I’m already really close to the 7 hour mark for this year (6 hours and 57 minutes) so maybe I should shoot for 7.5 instead. 🤔

Work.. The last two weeks have been great. This past week I clocked my new minimum of 30 hours. It’s my new minimum because now I have to foot the bill for the kids’ health insurance which got dropped when my ex quit his job in April. It’s an extra 600 bucks a month. Gross! Interesting side note, he’s just this week quit yet another job. Supposedly he has another lined up AND is saying he’s putting the kids on the new company plan. I’ll believe it when I see it cuz i just can’t trust anything really unless there’s proof. I. Short.. I’ve got to maintain at least 30 hours to stay qualified for my company plan. And those extra hours will not yield a higher paycheck because the cost of the insurance will be more than the extra I’m making. 🙄

Now for the best of the rest..

Exercise. Average 11k steps and zero Jazzercise classes. That’s right, a big fat goose egg for the exercise classes. I also happened to do my monthly pulse check on finances yesterday and those classes cost me 60 bucks a month. As a consequence, and figuring the low class participation is a trend that’s going to continue all summer, I went ahead and cancelled my membership. WHAT??! 😮 Words I never dreamed I would write, but I’m realistic and if I’m not getting out of it what I put in 💲💲💲, it’s not worth it. The dollar rules a lot of life decisions, this is no exception. 🤑

I’m going to take a break for at least as long as I need to in order to take advantage of the bonus plan. Which are deals they offer former customers to return like 1 whole year for 399. That would basically cut my cost in half. That’s a sweet deal. In the mean time, I’ll be doing more outside and can pick up some classes at the gym to compensate, when I have time.

In other news, my diet/eating still needs to be reined in. I weigh more now than I have for like 10 years. I know exercise is not my problem… I know it’s food and potentials changes in my metabolism. Getting old sucks. The most ducked up part of all of it is this trend started when I did that insane Whole 30 diet with my sister in January. I didn’t loose any weight those 30 days and have been steady climbing ever since. I’ve gained about 10 lbs, which doesn’t sound like a lot but for me it is.

It’s bothered me so much I’ve considered going back on the Whole Foods diet just to see if it has any affect doing a second round. I’ve also considered going gluten free again. If I do either of these two things, it will be a good test of how JS handles me having food restrictions. Matt never took that well and was not supportive. It always bugged me the way he would roll his eyes about that stuff. Whatever.

Actually part of my weight gain could be a result of being in a new relationship and happy and just enjoying indulging in all the wonderful things in life together. Yeah, we work out together but we also eat together and having someone else cooking and serving me means I haven’t been choosing my own portion size. That’s gonna change this week.

Which brings me to why today is significant. Today is our 3 month Anniversary AND later today we are having a Meetup at his house where our kids will meet for the first time. Yowza! I’m trying not to think about it too much. I mean, they are all teenagers and I’m sure it will be fine. But I can’t help but have some anxiety thinking about it.

It’s going to be a fantastic Sunday! It’s beautiful out, the birds are singing, and everything is going my way. I’m so fortunate and I know it. This June is going to be busy and just balls-out amazing with the trips planned. Cheers to a great start to it all.

Rolling Into Sunday Sumner Fun,

~Miss SugarCookie

PS. If you tuned in to see how last nights cliffhanger turned out, all I have to say about it is that Sleep took over and after I posted I never even got back out of bed. (So lame! 😜)

2018-03-12 The Thin Mint Struggle

Welcome to a new week and we’re rolling into mid March like lambs and lions living together.. real pre-old testament stuff. Sooth sayers and Ceasar slayers, Shakespeare rising from his grave. Beware.. the mass hysteria.

The kids are already enjoying their spring break by staying up late on a Sunday and sleeping in. I’m back at the gym and the man in black is here in black and running on the last treadmill in the row. I’ve got Work to do and a party to prep for and everything feels right with the world.

Yesterday I crossed my heart about really digging my heels in and eating healthy this week and I’m doing it. I know what works and I know what I have to do. If I can make it through the candy and ice cream and potato chips and pizza that my darling daughter has planned for her party, I can make it through anything. It’s the ultimate test.

I know I can do it because I have before. After having babies my metabolism had shifted greatly and I could no longer eat whatever I wanted like I could in my teens and twenties. After having my Z I struggled greatly. I was heavier than ever before in my life and gaining instead of loosing. I really had to figure out what worked for me.

I can’t talk to People about this. They look at me and roll their eyes. I said something to my mom and she literally made a face at me and waved her hand up like “go away with that”. Thanks for the support mom. I’m thin, but the truth is, I’ve had to work to get back here and to maintain.

And if a person has gone through what I have, which is a whole other thing I need to dedicate a post to, then they would truly understand what I mean when I say “It never really leaves my mind”. The self image and body issues and feelings of not being worthy are real.

I might try to make a funny comment on twitter like “Thin mints have cookie issues too”, but underneath that is a contant struggle. It’s part of why I dedicate so much time to setting goals and keeping track of stats.

Unfortunately at this point, my healthy appetite for exercise is not going to do much more for me because food is the problem. Food is NOT the problem.. my choices are the problem. I’m my own worst enemy. I can be super motivated at the start of the day like now, but by late afternoon I’m saying “screw it, I’m having what I want”.

I think it’s tough for me because I don’t have external support. If I’m truly compiling a wish list for my ideal partner in life, this would be on it. I want someone who also wants to eat healthy and support me in my struggle. If I were to look at my two past long term relationships I see this…

The first one was a major contributing factor to the cause of my problems.

The second really didn’t support me at all. He knew, but was mostly annoyed every time I was trying some new “fad” thing. Low carb, gluten free, mini-fasts and unreasonable restrictions. When he heard about my Whole 30 from Josh, apparently he issued a major eye roll. Whatever.

Like I stated, there’s more but it’s worthy of some dedicated time and well thought out writing. So I’ll quit now.

Time to get my Monday on!

Let’s Do This,

~Miss SugarCookie

2018-01-08 Today is a Good Day to Start

This is one of the tag lines on the blog I started in 2010. I think it’s a thing I tried to tell myself more than saying it to anyone else because I often use excuses why I’m not doing something.

* it’s not the start of the week or month.

* I’ve got all this food in my refrigerator I don’t want to go to waste.

* I won’t have time.

* I can’t afford it.

* I’m afraid of what people will think.

The biggest hurdle I have is getting out of my own way. Sometimes those excuses are valid, but most of the time I just need to strike through all of it and say to myself.. “Today is a good day to start”.

As we enter a new year I find myself more open than ever to the possibilities of life. I just started a new job. I just started back to school and on top of that, I’ve also committed to starting something else.. 30 days of eating only Whole Foods.

That’s right. I’m doing the whole 30 diet which will not require too much extra time aside from planning meals and grocery shopping, which I have to do anyway. What it will require is willpower.

This way of eating was totally meant for me because I’m a meat and potatoes girl at heart. However, I am addicted to sugar and love cheese. Not having alcohol will not be a problem but the whole thing will make social events, lunches out and such, a challenge.

I think doing something like this is only possible with the support from the members of your household and close family and friends. Not only are they there to encourage but also hold accountable. My sister and I are doing this together and now my friend Becky is making it a trio. I wish more people would join us but nobody at Christmas events seemed all that interested.

I think it’s also important to have rewards and celebrate success. I have yet to define that because I’ve pretty much put myself on serious monetary restriction for the foreseeable future. I need to find something I can reward myself with that doesn’t cost money. That’s going to take some deeper consideration for sure.

Today is Day 1. We wanted to wait for things to settle after the new year to start. Now, here it is, Monday. The start of a new week and essentially my first day wearing my big girl pants again. I’ll be working on turning in my lecture notes from residency and my kids are coming back home after a long break apart. But I can’t let any of that become an excuse not to start.

On the contrary. I want to propose the opposite.. today isn’t just a good day to start. It’s a great one!

Cheers to new Beginnings (with water of course),

~Miss SugarCookie