2017-07-22 Topic Indecision

5:13 PM I feel like there are so many things I want to write about now, that I can’t write about any of it because I just can’t seem to focus to pick one. My mind, racing as always, will not slow down enough for me to fix myself on one end and get there.

10:20 PM I’m still mostly in the same place as I was at 5PM, not knowing what to write about. However, I did just get home from my 5th – Yes 5th, 1st date in about 6 weeks. That seems like the most noteworthy thing to write about, but am afraid that will quickly become a tangled mess of all of my experiences and revelations from the past several weeks trying to start dating and I’m not really in for that tonight.

I woke up today with a sore throat and cramps and a mild headache which has persisted for several days. I tried to do some gardening and met with some success getting my garlic harvested, but that success ended before 7AM and I did not really accomplish much more after that. Mostly because it was 90+ degrees out again today and not feeling well and also trying to mentally prepare myself for the date tonight. I did still manage to get my 15K steps in despite all of that other BS.

I still have the headache and the sore throat has gotten worse but the cramps seem to have subsided. I took 3/4 a Xanax a few minutes ago and since returning from my vacation I have been weening myself off (again), but after this day, I pretty much don’t give a shit and just need a really good night sleep. Hell, I don’t even want the cookies I brought up to my bedroom to snack on before bed. I really just want some peaceful rest, preferably in the form of deep, dreamless sleep.

The first nap I took today ended with a nightmare about my ex-husband and in the dream we were still married. The second nap I took ended when my cell phone rang because I forgot to put it on silent like an idiot. Nether nap was very restful.

I think that’s it for tonight but here are some potential topics for tomorrow:

– The 5th First Date
– The Bumble experience.
– The evolution of my broken heart.
– The Shuffle masters of the universe.
– Zen and the Art of Cultivating Garlic
– The epiphany I had about what to do with the rest of my life.
– The Mantra Cheeseburger.

I think that’s about it, though I am sure there were other things throughout the day that came to my mind and vanished just as quickly.

~Miss SugarCookie

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