Here, sometimes you have to pick and choose. The packed itinerary of this time forces questions about priorities to be answered. By the time you get to day 2, hopefully you’re climbing the Maslow’s Pyramid and not stuck at the bottom with basic needs.
For me, it’s like a rapid trip climbing up and then sliding down again. I’m satisfied, even inspired, and then some instinct, some basic need kicks in again and there I go. Well, today was packed and I truly did have to pick and choose between lecture and trying to do something about the pounding in my head that was preventing me from concentration. I know it’s bad when thinking hurts and I can press my fingers to the bulging vein on my forehead and feel it throbbing. I wanted to go to the lecture at 3 today, but had to skip it, to self medicate with meditation, relaxation, fruit, and chocolate. And sunshine. Seriously.
You wouldn’t know it was summer as cold as this building is. The shivering I am doing from the conference rooms is probably caused me to burn any extra calories I am getting from “trying” every new dessert. I also self medicated with tylenol and ibuprofen as I wanted to hit my headache where it hurt the most, so to speak. There were things at 4 and 5PM I did not want to miss.
Those readings are over now. One of them was a reading by one of my fellow poetry students who is graduating and she’s just incredible. Her work is haunting, and intense, and inspiring, and also somewhat intimidating. Obviously I’m a fan. She’s done really well in the program and even though we have had only a few interactions, I can tell she’s a great person too. Someone I’d like to get to know better. You know how you can tell when someone would be a good person to have in your life.
I’m back in my room and in denial that it’s dinner time. I don’t particularly want to go and wish I had someone to sit with going in. I’m not even feeling that hungry, but that might be the social anxiety tricking me, trying to convince me not to go. I texted Jim and he’s urged me in the right direction. If I get stuck at the bottom, I’ll never get anywhere. He’s right.
Time to Climb Again,