Today tried to take me down. Toward the end of the day I just threw my hands up and said, “you win, you can have it, whatever you want”. Who really knows what a day might want, what it might ask for or demand. I just know sometimes it’s not worth fighting because there’s always tomorrow and the day after that.
Monday I packed up all my shit for the week and piled it, and my kids, and all their shit for the week, and our cat into the car. They were going to their dads and the cat and I were going to Jim’s.
Later that evening, when we were having a “crabby Monday” dinner at Shucks my throat started feeling sore. I dismissed it and ate through a pound of snow crab legs anyway. 🦀 Delicious.
When Jim and I arrived back at the house we both had to work and that lasted a good couple of hours. That’s when the congestion started. By the time we went to bed I knew I was coming down with something. It was a rough night and despite the fact the FitBit is reporting I slept for 7.5 hours, it wasn’t good sleep.
It was made worse by the fact that our two cats STILL can’t get along. At this point we’re convinced that his cat, Emma, is part wild or was abused as a kitten or something. She’s so defensive and afraid. Any time she’s within 5 feet of Kayla she hisses and tries to make a quick getaway. Kayla thinks she’s playing and chases her and then we always hear the skirmishes from another room. Serious cat fights. For that reason we keep the bedroom door closed nights, separating the two. Last night the door wasn’t tight and Kayla pushed it open and then made a spot for herself right next to my head. Fine .. whatever. But then at some point Emma got on the bed too, probably not realizing that Kayla was there. There I was stuck in between the two thinking the rumble in the jungle was about to go down right on my head. I tried to keep them separate but then I wasn’t sleeping. Eventually there was hissing and Emma ran away. Tough to sleep when you’re worried about a cat fight in the bed. 🙄
Jim had to get up at 5:30 for Work and I slept another two hours until 7:30. Then when I did wake, I looked blurry-eyed at a text on my phone which apparently came through at 12:38AM. It was from from my ex husband informing me he was going out of town for work for the rest of the week and basically stated that i was going to have to take the kids.
Lovely notice!! In my exhausted state I tried to reconcile the fact that all the stuff I had just packed and stuffed in my car would all have to be packed right back up to go home. Not only that but I would also have to go grocery shopping for our meals for the week and figure out how to navigate a day full of meetings and testing and people coming to measure for carpet. I’d also have to make it home by 3:15 to unlock the door because I’m pretty sure C lost his house key.
So many times today that I just had to tell myself not to get upset with the situation. It does no good. I said over and over “it will all work out”, and “tomorrow will be different”. I took a lot of deep breaths. Getting home and being with the kids helped right up to the point when they started fighting and had to also be separated. 🙄
All I wanted to do was hang out with my sweetie, see how he does taking care of me when I don’t feel well. I just wanted to sink into the couch and watch a show or talk or something. Really, I just wanted to relax too.. is that too much to ask? I guess so. Today really got me, but tomorrow will be different. It has to be.