2019-06-12 Balance Restored

It’s Wednesday and the toughest part of my week is over. I had the dinner party and wouldn’t you know it, the world did not end. Nothing bad happened. Of course they all loved the house and I ordered sushi so food prep and clean-up was a snap! I slept in until about 7:15 this morning and woke feeling refreshed and so ready for what’s next.

It’s amazing the amount of time I spent worrying about the whole thing. I wish I could change the part of me that gets anxious about stuff like that. Could I meditate it away or medicate it into submission? Who knows.. it’s just such a waste of time and energy.

Today balance has been restored to the Universe in more ways than that one. I received my new FitBit in the mail yesterday which I broke down and ordered a few days ago after exhausting all efforts to fix the one that broke. I had figured out how to reboot it to restore the display and it was recording my steps but the heart rate monitor was busted and it would not sync with my phone and that’s just rotten. In total I lost about 4 days of sleep and steps, though I didn’t actually lose them, they just didn’t get recorded. Yesterday I got like 20k steps and not getting credit for that is a tragedy. Yes, that qualifies as a tragedy in my life so I guess you could say life is good.

Yesterday I also submitted some poetry for consideration in an anthology and filled out the form for Summer residency for my MFA program. I had actually forgotten about workshop materials and getting those is such a treat. It’s like getting a sneak peek at some really great writing that no one else gets to see. I didn’t actually get the materials yesterday but there was a question on the form about getting a hard copy versus electronic so I know it is on it’s way soon.

Last summer I received a hard copy in the mail and it was like getting a little 4th of July present. I wrote a poem about it (go figure). It’s amazing how different my life is now. That feels like it was years and years ago but it wasn’t, it was just last year.

I actually submitted my workshop materials several weeks ago and have already forgotten what I submitted. That’s an interesting phenomenon. My opinion on what’s worthy changes with my mood. In the last week I changed my mind daily about what I should submit to that publication I mentioned. And today… I’ve already forgotten all about it.

I guess that might be a good thing. It means I’m not taking it too seriously. I need that. I need to just chill, you know and worry about life a little less. I need to just start submitting all kinds of stuff all the time and let go of the anxiety over whether it’s good or bad or right or wrong or how rejection or acceptance will make me feel. I need to trust the Universe a little more. Yesterday turned out ok and tomorrow will too. There will always be shifts in the balance but things always return to center. It’s just the Way, you know.

Peace and Love,

~Miss SugarCookie

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