2019-09-04 Lost in Doubt

I’m just so unsure. I’m so filled with doubt and anxiety and I’ve gone round after round with what’s wrong with me. It’s a trick of the mind but that’s what’s in the middle, what’s been cut. “The thought payout is at the end.” These piles of images are authentic. Truth is stranger than fiction and there’s a goldmine in the darkness. And none of it adds up to anything that makes sense and I have no more thoughts for the end.

I’m working on too many things at once and I want to throw it all away. Pulling out the stitches and re-using them in something else is too much and I’m tired. I’m trying to de-code the message I wrote to myself three weeks ago. “Just go”..

Go where? And from where? Physically? Mentally? What? What is that thought payout supposed to be? What does it mean? If I can’t figure it out, I’m just stuck.

I feel stuck.

Listen.. I know I’m not making any sense. I know it and yet this is what’s in my head right now that wants out. Perhaps tomorrow I can explain. Rewind and make it make sense. I don’t know though. No promises I guess.

Lost Today,

~Miss SugarCookie

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