2019-10-30 Somedays Life is All About Next Steps

Most days really. I’m like a broken record on this, but life is just moving too damn fast. When it does that, which is like most of the time, what I end up doing almost every day is everything that absolutely has to get done that day. I wake up and ask myself “what needs to get done today”, and the answer is a list of things and that is exactly what I do. I just roll with it and before I know it, it’s 8PM and I am dead tired and pining for my bed.

Monday is a good example as I had to scramble to finish a homework assignment I misjudged the due date on. My whole day revolved around that and trying to make it to class on time and fake like I knew what was really going on with what we are studying. I’m really only half done with the book we are supposed to be reading right now and thankfully the reading responses on that are not due until next week. Naturally, I have not started them yet.

Tuesday is a good example too. Z was getting her car detailed in the afternoon which meant I had to drive the kids to school. That takes about two hours out of my day, except on Tuesdays when it actually takes about 5 because of early outs and after school activities. I effed up one of the answers for Z’s FASFA which we filled out last week and then spent time trying to recalculate that in short order which I did with C in the car from the parking lot of a McDonalds by the High School (because their free Wifi reaches all the way out to the parking lot and I needed to be on my laptop to find the numbers I needed).

We also went to the bookstore because C needed a new book to read and he goes through books like water. He’s grounded from his phone and I’d rather have him reading books anyway. I literally spent all day running around for things that needed to be done ASAP. I guess I could have said “no” to some of that, but then I would have felt like a shitty parent. Can’t have that now can I?

Today is no exception either. Z woke up with a stomach ache and apparently has been subject of the whole “next steps” lifestyle and it’s caught up to her. I let her skip school. Probably setting a bad precedent but I feel for her with all the college applications and forms and a new job and classes. She just needed a day to get caught up on schoolwork. Anyway, it just means I needed to drive C to and from school again. What is the next step after that? Chores that need to be done today. Next? A lunch meetup with a friend. Next? Reviewing a story and a set of poems for workshop that is happening tonight at 7:30.

I need to finish reading and actually absorbing craft essays and the book, American Sonnets for My Past and Future Assassin, by Terrance Hayes for class next week. I probably won’t get to that until the day it’s all due, naturally. Why? Because we are having snow tires put on our winter car today (also just in time as it started snowing this week). Jim and I are also going to a tailor to have fittings so his suit jacket can be altered and my dress can be hemmed. Those are on my “October” to-do list and there are only a few days left in October. As it is, arranging for cakes to be made and a photographer are going to fall into November. Such is life.

Today is completely spoken for and so the record spins right round again. What will tomorrow look like? I guess I’ll figure that out when it arrives. What else can I do? How else can I operate? I can’t effing slow down time.

And just like that.. my time is up and I’ve got to jam.

Putting One Foot in Front of the Other,
~Miss SugarCookie

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