2019-12-29 MFA Res Day 1 – Unpredictable

It’s not quite 6am and I’m on the treadmill. I went to bed at a decent time but my Fitbit is still reporting less than 6 hours with poor quality for sleep. I dunno.. I think that’s unavoidable. Still I feel pretty good and ready to get after this day.

Yesterday, which I thought was super action packed was actually kind of slow moving. The morning crawled along and we had orientation and our first workshop and that was great. A long break later and there were a couple of lectures and that was fine too. I actually had enough break in-between things to return to my room and think about life and make sure I was prepared for the next thing. I even printed some material that I need to read for a session like 5 days away.

I was thinking that there’s something very different this time. Perhaps it’s just me. My anxiety is still hovering around minimum and I’ve always before been a bit cray-cray and I’m just not (yet). I always freak out packing and load my bag with books to have something to do, worried I’ll “need” that and I never have. I’ve always been irritated with the neurosis that caused me to lug my books with me. “A waste of space and weight”, I’ve furrowed.

This time? I didn’t bring any books. I thought “I’m fixing mistakes I’ve made before.. ha!”.

The Universe just smirks “wrong”.

Yesterday I wished several times I had a book to read. A good story to get lost in for an hour and so instead I just sat and tried to think of what I could possibly do to be more prepared for something else. And of course a fair bit of thinking about not having any books. “Fine, Universe, you win.”

That being said, the schedule for today looks to be more action packed and this time I think it’s for real. There’s about 8 things I want to go to on the schedule and that does not include meals. I’m definitely ready and very much looking forward to all of it. Except of course the meals. I still hate the dining room.

I don’t think that’s ever going to change. “You hear me Universe?! It’s NEVER going to change. Let’s see you flip that script! Ha!!”

What else? Oh! I wrote like 3 new poems so far and one of them might even have the potential to be pretty good. I would declare that I’m going to try to write at least one a day but I don’t want to set the bar too high. That way lies madness. But, a girl can dream right?

Though I may end up sleep deprived, I think it’s totally worth it to have this hour of the day alone. It’s so strange for it to be so quiet and calm now when in just a hot little bit this place will be teeming with activity. The Chateau is packed this go round, complete with faculty, staff, students, families gathering for the holiday, and people getting ready to kick off the New Year. There’s no escaping the crowd. I need to enjoy all the quiet contemplation I can.

With that, my hour is up and I’m in desperate need of a shower.

Hittn’ It and Gittn’ It,

~Miss SugarCookie

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