2020-01-02 MFA Day 5 – Balls

The lead in to of the lectures I attended yesterday lobbied that we should have 10 balls in the air at the all time. That if we did, it would be a bit of chaos but that it would increase our chances that some thing, even just one, would land and turn out golden. She proceeded to tell the story of what her journey has been and how that philosophy has played out.. with great success.

Some parts of that equation that she made perfectly clear was the need for perseverance and having a great desire. What she did not speak to as much, probably in order to stay within the 50 minute time constraint, was the hard work and time commitment and focus that we’re also required. No time to talk about all the other balls that did not work or were dropped in pursuit of the one that did turn out golden. But I know — I can infer that it wasn’t just sheer luck that the things that happened to her happened. It was the effort and drive.

At this point I already feel like I’ve got multiple endeavors in the air and another large thing has just been tossed in my direction. I have to be very careful. I don’t know how to say no. If I’m going to catch it and do it, I would want for my role and contribution to not be half ass. That’s not how I roll. When I’m in it, I’m going to win it.

But now my brain is stuck on that and this whole thesis thing I’ve got to get done is idling in my left hand (because the left hand is controlled by the right brain). My left brain is latching on to this new idea and the machine is revving. It’s that point in the start up process the flywheel is doing it’s thing. I need to remember that though this organizational, process driven idea feels vital, it’s not the most important thing. Or should not be.

The primary objective in my writing like right now is me, and my growth and development and making the biggest leap forward toward a fulfilling life as a writer. Mario (the spokesperson for my left brain) contends that this new project is vital because it’s fulfilling the requirement to build contacts and a resume that proves I’m a part of the literary community, and invested in it. There’s a seriousness in it and it needs to be given that measure of consideration and effort.

Conversations need to happen before I leave Nebraska city and so that’s what my brain keeps focusing on now. I think I’ve just done the opposite of what I set out to do in writing this. Instead of making a case for minimizing it, I’ve made a case for it being vitally important.

Yesterday was long and I had 4 hours of sleep the night before. This morning I woke at 5am and Fitbit reports 4.5 hours were had last night. At 6:30am (which is what it is now), I’m approaching an hour on the treadmill and still energized about the day ahead. I know from yesterday that by 3 in the afternoon my mind and energy is going to crash. I know that by 7pm I’ll be approaching zombie status. And tonight is a long one. Talent show followed by movie night. I would skip out of movie night but there is a requirement to see that movie in order to participate in one of the workshop/lectures tomorrow.

Yes, lots of balls indeed. And lots to prepare for just for today which is calling me back to my room. Study plans discussion prep, workshop prep, talent show prep. Yeah.. for real.. I gotta go.

I guess today was more thinking than writing but it is what it is.

Peace and Love,

~Miss SugarCookie

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