2020-01-02 MFA Day 6 – Telegraph for Today

Worst sleep ever. Stop

Literally. Stop

My own fault. Stop

Complete sentences. Gone. Stop

Too much. Stop

Send help. Please.


Yesterday was a long day and I would recap but I just don’t have it in me right now. I would provide a sneak peek of today, but it’s kinda the same thing. So much has changed from day to day yet everything feels like a repeat of the day before. Same activities, people, food (though I went off campus twice yesterday, once for lunch and again for dinner), same sleep deprivation, same exercise, same thoughts rotating in my brain over and over and over. Still, there’s a progression and developments that contribute and carry me forward to each next minute, a changed being.

That’s fairly non-specific, nebulous, and abstract.

I’m just gonna be honest (not that I have previously been dishonest), but I’m just gonna give this up. I just wanna walk and listen to music, think, and stretch.

Perhaps I need to give myself permission. And not just a pass for this first hour of my day but for other thoughts of what’s required. These requirements are mostly self imposed. So convincing myself that it’s ok not to do something is an inner dialogue and it really should not be such a struggle.

It’s first draft Friday again and perhaps I’ll let that be my contribution and give this day meaning and voice.

On that note. Ciao for now.

~Miss SugarCookie


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