I woke up shortly after 3am and was immediately consumed by thoughts about everything going on. A veritable Rolodex of current events.
1. 8 days until the wedding. 😱
2. Cleaning the house for the party.
3. Being so scattered I missed my sisters birthday lunch and wondering if she’s going to hold it against me somehow and not forgive me (were supposed to go to a comedy show this Saturday and she’s not being very responsive over text).
4. The school work I’ve pretty much been ignoring for like 2 weeks.
5. My daughter’s senior picture dilemmas.
6. The endless to-do list I chip away at everyday and continue to feel like I’m not getting enough done each day.
7. Details about the ceremony, decorations, and clothing that’s not been ironed out yet.
8. The ice covering our driveway and sidewalks that needs to get taken care of before next Saturday and the weather is not cooperating.
9. My darling daughter finding a new program she wants to apply for for college in the fall which is a big change from what’s been her plan for just about this entire senior year.
10. My work wanting me to run a demo of some new software for a sales pitch next week and I haven’t seen anything but screenshots of it until this point. The main UX person is on vacation and they are like, we’ll get Shyla to do it. Sure, no problem guys.
11. And for the love of all the cheese in the universe, how I’m going to do my hair on the day of the wedding. Yeah.. that struggle is sadly a real thing.
Needless to say, I could not fall back asleep. When it got to 4am I opted to take half a Xanax. Incredibly, I still had trouble falling back asleep after that but eventually I did.
Then when I had to wake up at 6:30 to roll with the morning routine, I was super groggy. I prepared breakfast in the dark, fed the fishes, loaded the dishes into the dishwasher, and trudged around the house making sure the grumpy teenagers were awake and getting ready to go. Thing 1 is not a morning person and her eyes and voice (when she elects to speak in the morning which normally she doesn’t) are daggers stabbing anyone who speaks to her or crosses her path. Thing 2 is generally in an ok mood in the mornings but has a serious problem getting out of bed and getting ready to go. He takes his meds, puts shoes on, and gives me a hug and tells me he loves me before following her out the door.
Everyday that nobody gets murdered is a good day. 😂
Jim comes in to eat “can I turn the lights on?”
Me.. /shrug “sure.”
By 7:30 everyone is gone and I turned all the lights back off and went back to bed. I still laid there a bit, awake and thinking about everything but again, I eventuality fell back asleep. I really need it. I thought.. I’ll wake up at 9 and go to Jazzercise.
I woke up at 9:30 and was like “whelp, so much for that master plan”. I was still super groggy and probably laid there for another half an hour trying to really wake up.
I mean, I’m not super excited to get up when cleaning bathrooms, sweeping, and dusting is the itinerary for the morning.
Despite how I’m always feeling that I’m not productive enough, I do feel like I’ve gotten a lot done this week. I promised myself I would take a little time Friday for doing something sort of pamper-y. Hey!! Today is Friday!!
I’m done with my morning chores and the bathrooms and basement are behind me now. I had a bite to eat and now I’m walking the treadmill and looking forward to treating myself to a pedicure this afternoon before I pick my son up from school. I haven’t had a pedi at a nail salon in like forever. 💅
Eight days from now I’ll be getting ready to walk down the aisle and take a vow.
Sixteen days from now that will all be in the rear view and I’ll be headed to Hawaii.
Twenty four days from now I’ll be coming down off of the high of all of it, facing reality and my new life as a married woman, wife, and looking toward the future and all the possibilities. I have no delusions that life is going to calm down. You always think it will, and then it doesn’t. That’s just the nature of things.
On that note, it’s time for me to roll out.
Cheers to Pedicures, Pampering, and the Weekend,