It was either the 20K steps I had yesterday or the two glasses of wine that did me in by like 10:30pm. Perhaps I should consider that I was up at 4:50am without much significant rest all day. I woke today around 5:45am, partially due to the pressure in my bladder and partially due to my kitten complaining about something. I chucked several decorative pillows at her from the bed, but she kept coming back making more noise. Finally at 6 I opened the curtains and the windows to get some fresh air in the room. It’s very overcast today.
Sometimes when I post things on WordPress I get likes and I end up going to look at what those people have written. Many times it’s some promotional site for some thing or other and I quickly navigate away. Sometimes, however, it’s a real human being who is also just posting about their life or opinions or short stories or poetry. I know some people get lost in an endless stream of videos on You-Tube these days, but I could fare about the same with the WordPress content that is available. I find myself most drawn to the other people who are writing about themselves. It’s fascinating and then I realize, hey, that’s what I’m doing.
I’ve had a couple of people inquire about my blog in real life and I have been quite leery to share. I very much appreciate writing under the presence that “nobody” is actually reading and then I don’t find myself giving much thought to needing to alter my words for the sake of any person. I know the tried and true rule about knowing your audience, and if I know I have an audience, then there might be some slight modifications because of that. That being said, there are a few people who do know what the site is, and I’m happy to say I don’t think it is affecting the outcome.
The first was a person I dated back in 2010 and we ran into each other late last year and then again early this year. That was very early in this endeavor and since I had not seen this person in so long, I did not think their knowing would change things. I honestly don’t know if he reads any of this. I mean, for real, who has time for that (besides me)?
The second person was my closest colleague at my last job. That one was sort of a happy accident I think. I don’t remember how the topic came about, but I eluded to the fact that I post to a blog and he took it upon himself to go hunting things out. He’s the one who discovered that my blogs were all listed together in the “Gravitar” section of my main blog including this one which I had wanted to keep concealed. I wanted this blog to remain somewhat anonymous and there it was, right under my picture and the three or four other blogs I have. Whoops. I’ve fixed that now, thanks to him.
I am not sure if he reads the things I write either. He also shared with me what his blog was and I subscribe to that and read those just about as soon as they are posted (I get a notification via email). His stuff is more retrospective but contain insight into his present state of mind. He’s a good writer and I enjoy reading his posts. I also get a little inspired to perhaps do more “backstory” posts or even deeper dives into certain topics that I think of from something that has happened, but for some reason I haven’t seem to do much of that yet.
I don’t ever seem to get past the “this is what I did today” stuff, which is quite dreadful really. I’ve even written before about the fact that so much of that is just repeating the same thing over and over. I mean, how much can one person talk about their sleep deprivation or achievements? Apparently in my case, quite a lot. I’m more than half a year in and still at it though so it’s definitely doing something for me. I don’t tend to think about it much, which is strange, but I do feel like my writing and this blog have helped me “dig out” of the hole that I had dug for myself in recent times. I really don’t see any conclusion for it anytime soon either.
So I’m going to go ahead and keep on living, and writing, and posting, and reading and we’ll see where that leads. I might be going no-where, but at least I have a great record of my ride.
Today is Sunday. I’ve long ago abandoned the idea that there is a formula for a perfect Sunday. I used to think if you did paint by numbers, so to speak, and practiced yoga and had coffee and sushi and cocktails and writing and listening to music and walking that you could not go wrong. It seems logical enough, but even doing all that may not guarantee a win for the day. There’s some magic ingredient that eludes me. Hopefully it is not sunshine, because it looks like we will be having none of that today. Very overcast indeed.
Just Keep Swimming,