Two years ago I started this blog and one of my first posts was titled “2017-01-15 The Riddle of the Middle”. It was one brief paragraph that posed the question, “How do you start something new when it feels like you are starting in the middle?“ I’m confident now, two years later, answering that question. It’s as simple as two little words – Just Start.
At the time, I was a broken human being who had just experienced the worst year of my life. My mind was a mess of jumbled puzzle pieces that no longer fit their frame. The colors were off and something big was lost which had left a sizeable hole in the picture.
Writing has always been my default go-to activity to sort out my thoughts and try to make sense of things that have gone wrong in my life. In 2016 I wrote hundreds of pages in my personal journal. So on that fateful day in January when I made a leap of faith to start a public blog and post my writing for anyone to read, one of my primary concerns was the fact that I was starting in the middle of a story. The story was that of my deteriorated mental and physical health, my stressful job, my broken heart, and my struggle with my purpose in the Universe. It Was and still is the story of my life.
I was 43 then and you don’t get that far without a lot of backstory. How then does one even begin to try and make that make sense for someone on the outside? The only people reading would be Perfect strangers who randomly visit and kindly take 5 minutes out of their day to read a day in the life of an anonymous blogger. As a writer, I was concerned about my audience, no matter how disconnected we might be.
As I stated, the answer is that you just have to start. It is a bit of a leap of faith. You have to trust that eventually the picture will come together. Obviously you could try and summarize, but there will inevitably be details that won’t make sense without more explanation. I can say now that that is not necessary. The details will come with time and if a person gets held back on such a technicality, that’s a shame. I tend to overthink everything and as it turns out my concerns were unfounded.
I’m extremely grateful that I did not let my worries stop me from starting this blog. It has been a key part of my healing process. My blog description accurately reflects the purpose and that is exactly what it has been for me for two years:
THIS STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS IS INTENDED TO BE AN UNFILTERED ACCOUNT OF MY JOURNEY TO FIGHT MY WAY TO A HEALTHIER, HAPPIER LIFE. ONE DAY AT A TIME, ONE STEP AT A TIME, ONE ORGANICALLY-GROWN-EMOTIONALLY-RAW BLOG POST AT A TIME…
And now, I’m delighted to report that I’ve arrived. I have a happy, healthy life and am cruising into what I’m thoughtfully calling “Maintenance Mode”. 2016 may have been the worst year of my life and it is only fitting that I celebrate the fact that 2018 was arguably one of the best.
All the choices I have made, and all the changes I’ve experienced are documented here and serve as both a reminder of how things were and also a blueprint for success. Life will always throw you curveballs that you are not prepared for, and if that happens and I find myself back in a tough spot, I will have this time to look back on.
If anyone is thinking about starting some new endeavor, no matter what it is, my advice is to go for it. As I have said a few times in the last two years “Today is a good day to start”.
Of course, being the numbers and stats nerd that I am, this blog anniversary post would not be complete without just a little WordPress accounting…
All time posts: 654
All time Views: 6220
All time visitors: 3233
I’m grateful that I’m fortunate enough to be able to do the things I enjoy, like writing. I’m grateful for every person in my life, my children, friends, family, and kind strangers who take the time to read my musings. And I’m grateful for every day. Life is good.
Cheers to Two Years,