2020-11-28 The Clandestine Miss SugarCookie Miraculously Finds Five Hundred Followers

Loving this long weekend so far. Really letting myself get into all of this Christmas business and doing it all just the way I’d want to do it if I was alone on the island. Alone in the castle. Alone with only myself to please. But I’m still doing the dishes, to keep the natives distracted with normalcy.

The “it’s all about me” mentality doesn’t stop at stringing lights and dotting every I and crossing every T with the drippings of last years Christmas tree. Oh no. It extends into what’s coming out of the refrigerator and going into my mouth. Namely every leftover from the self-made feast I first laid eyes on last Thursday. Hurry. Before it all goes bad on the shelf.

And just like that, quietly in the night, my count of followers for this blog crosses over the threshold of 500. Can you just imagine?! 500 people and bots who have either clicked on a button to follow this SugarCookie or pre-programmed their loyal servants to auto-follow any blog with certain key words. But since I’ll never know the split, I celebrate with blissful indifference!

I happened to mention to Jim a few night ago, or last night, that I was a few clicks away from 500. His questions led me to want to divert the conversation to some other topic. I needlessly began to worry that he might try to find the blog and read it. He asked if someone googled me if they would find the blog. I know the answer is that it depends.

It Depends on what they google and what they know about me, if they know any of the aliases I use, or past Legal last names I’ve had. Truth is, since it’s all connected behind the scenes, it’s famously easy, but I’m banking on the fact that he won’t search and frankly, that most people who know me won’t either.

Yeah, I do, every once and a while drop a link someplace or tell someone about it, but again, I trust in the universe. That nobody’s got the time for my brand of repetitive bronchitis. It’s true. I don’t even have the time for it, but a girl’s got to treadmill and Multitasking on my phone,  typing away from the perspective of my favorite alias is a natural match.

So I’m almost 4 years in with this blog. Stats say I’ve posted 1099 times and have had 12,681 views from 7716 visitors over the course of all these long days and nights. Not bad.

Jim asked what I would do if suddenly overnight my number jumped to like 50 thousand. I told him I’d wonder what hacker hacked me—posted some video that went viral, electrons spinning the globe in seconds causing my stats to skyrocket out of control. Silly husband. Human beings don’t read anymore. They watch Tik Tok and YouTube and Facebook and Netflix.

Blog intermission: I apologize to all you real humans reading this Right now. I’m not talking about you, but I definitely feel like “we” are in the minority. It’s a sickness this short attention span society we’re allowing to proliferate before our very eyes, ears, and skin. As if we’ve no skin in the game. It’s a shame. 

In any case, as I said before I’ve already made my bet that Jim is not going to google me or find my blog and if he does, I hedge with the fact that he won’t read much if he does. That would be a tragedy. I mean, what would you do if you were seeing a therapist for like 4 years and suddenly they began making daily phone calls to your loved ones to dish your dirt. You’d probably have to find a new therapist. And I would too. Yes, tragedy indeed as I do believe that this particular alias is one of my favorites.

Donuts to dollars, I’m not bringing the topic of this blog up again. nope. From now on it’s all poetry above the fold. Well, certain poetry anyway. 😉

On that note, I’ve just acquired enough steps to satisfy my daily goal and must get back to the Christmas explosion upstairs. Aint nobody gonna decorate this castle but yours truly.

Pease, Love, and Caramel Apple Pie A La Mode,
~Miss SugarCookie

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