Part of my new-ish routine since the kids went back to school is to hit the gym as soon as soon as I drop them off. This morning, I can barely go up and down the stairs without feeling it. Either I’ve overdone it since getting back from Austin or I’m getting sick. Both seem unlikely because I have not really done more than I would normally do in a typical couple of days and I just don’t get sick.
Sure I get headaches, seasonal allergies (sometimes), and the occasional stomach ache, but sore throats and stuffy noses are foreign to me. I don’t “catch” things and rarely have a fever or something that lands me in bed for the day (save for that random migraine). I can’t even remember the last time I was sick with some virus or cold. So the weak feeling with the sore muscles and lack of energy that I am experiencing today are a mystery to me.
In an effort to try and convert to an E2 sleep schedule, I woke up at 3AM. By 6AM I had showered, processed some tomato into chili base, made some gluten free granola. At that time, I felt tired, but was chalking that up to the early wake up time. At 6:25 I was really ready for my first nap. The timer went off just before 7 and I got up and woke the kids up and we started in on our morning routine. Since then, I have been in total zombie mode. There was no way I was going to make it to the gym.
When I got home, I picked the kitchen a little and then looked at my to-do list. I don’t have the motivation to do anything on that list yet and so I made some tea and decided it was journal time.
At 10AM today I’m supposed to call a person Paul connected me to after our lunch meeting. When I told Josh yesterday this was happening but that I was not ready to find a job yet, he told me I should not have that conversation yet. I’m going to approach it as an introductory conversation and just info gathering. I already included in one communication that I am not ready to really start looking yet and just figuring out what direction I am going to go.
Figuring out what I am going to do was one of my goals for September and now I’m in the last 3rd of the month and have not really made any progress. I told Josh yesterday I wasn’t ready yet. I’m not ready yet. I’m finding myself thinking more and more about how long I really could go on this way. What I am afraid of is that the longer I go, the more I will feel this way. I had other goals for September, but somehow those are not getting done either. What, oh what, am I going to do with myself.
After my call this morning I will have more time to get something else done from my lists. I have daily to-do lists but what I should put on the top of each on is my monthly goals and at least inch toward those as well.
But first I need to figure out how to snap out of this ick that I am feeling today. Maybe I should get a coffee and try to go to the gym when I am done with my meeting and just fight through it. We’ll see.
Hunt or Be Hunted,