Most of the time, it’s after I’ve had a few glasses of “somethin’ somethin’” and my inner monologue is full of clever things to say. Whenever I’ve had a few glasses of wine with dinner, I start thinking all kinds of really great tweets. Sometimes, I get as far as opening the app and then I pause and ask myself, Is this really funny, or is it only funny in my head? (Or is it only funny cuz I’ve tipped back too much red wine?). Probably a combination of all those things.

Just then I think twice and put my phone away. The whole internet should thank me for sparing them from the SugarCookie drunk tweets. Or at the very least my 198 followers should. What I need is an anonymous twitter account where I can say all the shit I’m really thinking and if I did that, I would only follow celebrities and grumpy cat so no one would ever follow me or see my tweets. That’s brilliant right??!! (I’m also brilliant when I’ve been drinking).

I went to lunch with a former co-worker about three weeks ago and told him I was going to wait until my kids were grown and on their own to become a highly accomplished drunk poet. Or something like that. Being accomplished may or may not have been a part of my proclaimed master plan. It’s a good plan either way.

Giving credit where credit is due, many tines my kids are the source of some of those priceless thoughts. Tonight at dinner my daughter put down the lazy millennial‘s and proclaimed herself part of Gen Z, the generation that was going to be creative, invent new and important technologies, and not live at home with their parents into their 30s. Wow!

My untweeted tweet: maybe when you get old enough you can pull an Al Gore and say you invented the internet.

Funny right?!! 😜

What I shoulda said was “that’s right you won’t be living in my house when you’re 39 cuz im kicking your ass out when you are 18”.

She is right about being creative and inventive and into technology. She’s all of those things. Then I look over at my son who is also “gen Z” and all he does is sit around in his underwear all day playing video games. Maybe we shouldn’t set the bar too high for the next gen just yet.

There were more hilarious thoughts in my head at dinner tonight, but they have all since slipped away. That’s also what happens with the wine. Flashes of brilliance that are here and then gone forever. Oh well, oh well. 🤷‍♀️

Ok.. I’ve got to git.

Happy Saturday (don’t cinco too many de Mayos),

~Miss SugarCookie