It doesn’t feel like it should be the middle of the week already, but indeed it is. It does not feel like July is just around the corner, but indeed it is. June was supposed to be my “break” between finishing work and starting back to school and quite frankly I feel like it’s flown by and I really would like to have more time. This is likely due to the fact that I already know I’ve bitten more than I can chew as far as school is concerned and I’m a little terrified at everything I’ve committed myself to.
In any case, I’m still shifting gears and getting used to my new life. Some days I’m like, “oh my gosh is this what my life is now”, because of all the awesomeness and other days I have these bouts with doubt. I think the internal questioning of decisions is human nature and also can be healthy. We should question our choices and fact check ourselves.
If we do that just a little, and listen to our instincts, then we can feel better about the path we are on. I ignored my instincts for too much of my life and that led to a lot of grief. People will always make mistakes, so that’s unavoidable. The trick is to not get stuck in those mistakes or let one bad decision to lead to another and another.
When I started this blog almost 2 and a half years ago, my life was a mess and I was really unsure how to fix it (or even what the real problems were). I knew I needed changes but not sure what or how. The blog was actually the first step and the “summary” statement I wrote for the top of the page was my original intent.
“THIS STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS IS INTENDED TO BE AN UNFILTERED ACCOUNT OF MY JOURNEY TO FIGHT MY WAY TO A HEALTHIER, HAPPIER LIFE. ONE DAY AT A TIME, ONE STEP AT A TIME, ONE ORGANICALLY-GROWN-EMOTIONALLY-RAW BLOG POST AT A TIME”
What I recognize, 2.5 years later is that it is still true. Yes I feel happy and healthy (most days), and my life is so much better now, but the journey isn’t over. It’s never over. I have to continue to make choices everyday with that goal in mind because it’s a moving target. We can’t stay in the same place. We have to keep moving forward. The feeling of “happy” is so transient and comes and goes.
As we approach July 4th, I can’t help but think about that well known phrase from the Declaration of Independence “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness”. It’s the “pursuit”, which is key. If we want to be happy, we have to keep chasing it. Always.
I’ve recently considered changing my blog summary statement because I thought “I’ve done it!” I have hit my goal, this is it, and now I can just sit back and coast. However, because of the sentiments I’ve covered today, I have decided to keep it the same. I never want to stop striving for a healthy, happy life. It’s still one day at a time, one step at a time, one picture perfect flower, poem, hug, cheeseburger, and blog post at a time!