Wowza.. Two in one week!! The first week in March is gonna be celebration central from here on out ya’ll. 💃💃💃
On this day 18 years ago, I was in a hospital giving birth to one of the most amazing humans I’ve ever met. If there’s anything that ever made me feel like time is relative, it’s that 18 years can pass by in a blink. I don’t have other words to describe how this makes me feel. Imagine all the emotions a person can have wound right around each other like a rubber band ball. So much energy, potential— which applies to my emotions as well as her as a person.
Now that I’m entering my 4th year with this blog, a person could probably look back at the last three entries for March 7th and read the other things I have to say about her and about the day. I truly don’t remember what I’ve written in the past so it might be fun for me to go back and read too. That’s part of the appeal of journaling.. if you forget, you can read about it later.
Not that I’m ever going to forget how terrible and magical it was to give birth or to hold her for the first time or how scared we were because she was so tiny and fragile and we didn’t know what the hell we were doing. There’s so many directions this could go today.
I could dive into these birth day memories or I could write about how cute and feisty she was as a baby or how adorable and sassy she was as a little girl or how smart and creative and shy she was in elementary school or how much of an atypical teenager she’s been— easy and mostly drama free and responsible but never loosing that Z attitude that’s so uniquely her. How would I describe that?
It’s a combination of the, “you just don’t know, talk the the hand” mindset with a sensitive slant and thoughtful, caring spirit. She’s clearly got her mommas emotions.
The two of us went to see a movie last night. and we sink down in the lounge chairs, armrest In the up position as she leans into me. In the end, we’re both in tears— sobbing messes actually. We knew going in the movie was going to be sad (happy/sad) and it did not disappoint. I cried like 3 or 4 times during and as it always happens, I could feel her grip on my arm tightening as she looks at me. I’m no longer afraid to let my kids my sensitivity. I’ve learned that there’s nothing wrong with letting your emotions show. I tried so long to shield them from that, always being strong and stoic.
This time, I looked at her and we looked at each other and just shared that common ground, tears streaming down our cheeks. Then the credits begin and we hightail it out of there before the lights can come up. My mascara was a disaster and she spent the next 5 minutes in the car fixing her makeup. Yeah, it’s like that.
Anyhow, as we do for her birthday every year, I let her skip school and we spent the whole day together. Since her actual birthday was on a Saturday this year she chose the 6th as our special day. Which she’s actually had a say so in these past few years because sometimes it’s important to go to school on your actual birthday so you can celebrate with friends. So it’s usually some day close to her birthday.
Tradition dictates we go out for a late breakfast at Village Inn and split the VIB And after that it’s her call. Some years we’ve gone to movies, family fun center, shopping. Yesterday we went to the mall and ended up looking at prom dresses for her senior prom (which is Another part of her year this year that I can hardly believe is happening, my baby at prom!!). I have more to say on this but perhaps I’ll elaborate as plans for that play out.
We also went to one of her favorite stores, hot topic, where we browsed for about half an hour. She picked out a few jewelry trinkets and that was it. She’s very into anime and some things Disney and Harry Potter so there’s a lot to look at In that store.
We also went to Rue 21 where she picked out some clothes that one might think are a little racy, but it doesn’t bother me. She has a positive self image and I want to keep it that way. I’d rather her have good self esteem and good vibes about her body than what can often happen with young girls/women. Life is tough enough, you know, so feeling good about yourself is a big part of the battle.
I suppose one can end up being too into themselves and too vain, but she’s definitely not that person. She’s got a healthy, well balanced attitude. I’d like to think I have modeled good attitudes and behavior in this regard despite my own issues.
Anyway. We’ll be celebrating more this weekend but she’s got to work both days and so we’ve planned accordingly. It’s kind of a bummer that she has to work on her birthday but as I told her “that’s how it is sometimes”. I’ve worked plenty of days on my birthday and it just means you get to party more on other days. Am I right??!!
Eighteen. Wow. It also makes me think about what I was doing when I was her age, which was starting my first week as a freshman at college. But that’s another story altogether and my hour is up and my phone is strangely at 10% battery and I’ve got to get started with my Saturday.
Cheers to the last 18 years and the next 18 too!!