2020-03-18 What’s really on that glass container you are holding?…

(Yup, another one of those articles you have to read and endure all the way to the bottom to get the answer.)

I’m a serious creature of habit and I like routine. It often means I dig my heels in and get stubborn about how things go but it also means I can easily get stuck in a rut. However, there are sometimes there are glimpses at inner rebellion where I get an itch to change something or suddenly decide that some aspect of normal is just not good enough.

There’s a lot of ways this could go today, because not only I’m thinking about how to best structure my day to conform to the new normal and also what I can do to break out of the box.

As I’ve said, aside from stocking up with supplies and not getting to go to any meetups or Jazzercise, my routine hasn’t really changed much. In truth, I should have more time now to focus on work and school and parenting but somehow I’m not.

I was asked to limit my socialization several weeks ago and I can tell it’s affecting my mental health. Knowing you can’t do something you normally would messes with your brain. I’ve got social anxiety but that doesn’t mean I’m not bothered by no-contact rules with some of my favorite peeps. Thank goodness for the internet.

And nope, not talking about social media because I still dislike most of those platforms. I participate minimally. I say thank goodness for the internet and the technology to have virtual meet ups.

Aside from my once a week writing group which is mostly just text chatting online and facilitated writing sessions. I haven’t had a lot of communication with folks via similar chat or Skype or FaceTime sessions. Last night was my first experiment.

It was a little gathering of mostly my writing group peeps plus another gal from the MFA program. We all hopped on a zoom meeting and actually got to chat face to face. I’m the one who set it up but was also the one with technical audio issues with my laptop. Go figure! 🙄

Now that I’ve got all that figured out, my brain is working on how to use this tool to turn my would be coffee and lunch dates into events that can still happen. For gawd sake.. I just realized I’m talking about talking on the telephone. Seriously?! 🤦🏼‍♀️

I mean the cool thing about last night was actually getting to see people, so perhaps I’m not just talking about phone calls but FaceTime. Anyway, just one of the things I’m thinking about as I also ponder what the near future looks like.

As I’ve said already, we (and I mean I) stocked our household with groceries and supplies weeks ago and so we are set for disaster (for the most part). But until the idea of being stuck at the house for several weeks sinks into the teenage brain, you don’t get much response from the question “I’m going to the store, what do you need?”

This is now sinking in. My darling daughter sent me a text message at 2:30 am Monday night with her list. She finally realized what was happening (despite school being called off and info being all over the internet). I think what made the lightbulb go off was the fact that we told her no fast food and no leaving the house unless it’s absolutely necessary. (She persists for days on fast food some weeks so it’s a big change).

Her list still consisted of mostly junk food and things she wanted to make sure we have so she can bake cookies and brownies, but at least it was a list.

So I went back to the grocery store. Early AM (my regular local market which is the Walmart market which is just a grocery store).

It was interesting to see what items were completely gone or mostly picked over. Yup, no TP as I’ve heard. The milk and eggs were also almost out but there was still plenty of cheese to be had. The produce also looked pretty stocked so that’s good. There’s no soap or hand sanitizer and the cleaning supply aisle doesn’t have much left. It’s just fascinating. Human behavior is odd sometimes.

In other news my Jazzercise classes can now be done at hone (by watching a video). I’m on the fence about that. More than half the reason I go is for accountability and being with a group pushes me to work harder. If it’s just me in a room, what’s to stop me from just taking a seat or just shrugging and turning it off? I should give it a shot before I rule it out. We’ll see.

In other news… I left the house 3 times yesterday. First it was the grocery store. Then it was the post office. Then it was to the glass recycling center which is just a big green bin outside at about 102nd and I Street. Yup.. I loaded up all the glass that’s collected at our house in the past two months and tossed it all in the big green bin.

It’s strangely satisfying to throw a bunch of glass and listen to it bounce and shatter. And you can get angry and think about something that makes you mad and just channel all that energy into the act. A lot of pent up anger at my stupid ex husband now lives in that bin and has presumably been carted off, crushed, melted, and turned into new glass.

Think about that the next time you drink something from a glass container. What your holding could contain some tiny sliver of SugarCookie emotions/energy. That is, if emotions can travel on and inside the surfaces and molecules of inanimate objects.

Hey.. if viruses 🦠 can, then why not??!!

My agenda today includes staying away from social media and the news and just hunkering down to make progress on a few work and school projects. There’s a few official meetings on the books. Later I might even try to get my kids in the same room to play a board game. 🤷‍♀️

That’s it for this hump day ya’ll.

Enjoy the rain or sun or snow or whatever nature is bringing your way today.

~Miss SugarCookie

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