2020-06-03 What a Virgo living in the age of Aquarius does In a pandemic

Set it and forget it. Part of the appeal of doing something right or having trust in someone else doing something that needs to get done and having confidence in their ability is the “set it and forget it” principal. Do it, or ask someone else to do it, and then let you mind let it go.

I dipped on work yesterday and took a day for myself to take care of other business. Today I’ll probably be playing catch up cuz nobody else does what I do. I’m still not essential.. or am I? I’m the lowest person on the team, so all the things that nobody else wants to do come to me. But Don’t take this for complaining. I want my job. I actually love it.

Those days when it’s evident that my involvement is a benefit, I feel satisfaction. I know they need me. It’s good to be needed.

I do have a lot of work today. And in my peripheral vision is a stack of procrastinated things. I keep telling myself I’ll get to that tomorrow. I’m more accountable to my work and now the lit mag than my own life. That MFA thesis? Still in a box on the floor. My daughters graduation announcements? Still in a box in the same pile. My snail mail. Same pile.

You get the point. Other people can trust me to get shit done but I can’t trust me to get shit done. In all fairness, my daughter doesn’t care about the grad announcements so that just me waiting on me. She’s over it. She grieved. She’s moved on. She’s looking forward to college and moving out and living in a dorm and taking classes. She’s looking forward and I’m the only one still stuck looking back.

I told some friends at a virtual meet up last night that I’m a list maker. M said that was a Virgo thing, being organized and I agree. But the truth is that my white board to-do list got wiped of the March things in May and was never replaced. In May I did my taxes. In May i sent my electronic thesis in. 2 of 20 things ive done and quite lost track of the rest.

I used the pandemic as an excuse to let myself go, to let things slide, to do whatever whenever and not really keep track. I used the pandemic to give myself a pass at not being classically Virgo. To not set it and forget it.

Blame the moon. Blame Gemini on the horizon. Perhaps some planet is in retrograde or the earth wobbling more than usual or sun flares are on the rise.

I’m just a Virgo who was meant to be a Leo living in the age of Aquarius. That means that you can trust me. But I can’t trust me. What a sticky predicament to be in.

Well that went to a strange place today. Not exactly what I was thinking about writing about, but it just goes to show that sometime the brain is hiding things.

Now… back to work. And maybe a quick whiteboard session is in order for June.
Maybe not quite yet. 😉

Cheers to hump day,
~Miss SugarCookie


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