And just like that half a week goes by. When they say “if you blink, you’ll miss it,” they weren’t kidding. There’s a lot of things I could gravitate toward writing about with this 30 minute set, but probably the most relevant is closing the loop with regard to my last post. That was 5 days ago and it feels more like 5 minutes.
In it I was attempting to make myself feel better about my perceived shortcomings as a parent by reframing the negatives into positives.
This past weekend we finally.. FINALLY.. pulled off throwing my daughter a grad party. It was small but in the end the size of the attendees list did not matter as much as the effort we put into it. It doesn’t matter if we only had 10 family members over as long as we set up like it was for 50 people.
Of course I, as her mom, have been waiting for this party for a long time. I have been dreaming about it since the first day I dropped her off at kindergarten. I pulled out all of her memory books that I’ve previously spent hours and hours putting together. I captured many moments from when she was a baby and toddler and when she rolled through elementary like a mighty little boss!
Right about second grade is when I stopped doing the scrapbook thing and started just collecting memorabilia into little plastic bins. I have saved every school picture, every certificate of achievement, piece of artwork, report card, and story/assignment I could get my hands on. It’s a LOT of stuff.
Now with my procrastination there was not a lot that I could do with all of that material. Because it just takes so much time to pull it all out and put things together. But I did manage to complete one book that has all of her school pictures from kindergarten through graduation.
We also pulled out all of her larger art projects and went through everything so she could choose what things she wanted out on display. She also had her own project where she had about 92 photos from both long-ago and high school that she had printed and arranged into two larger collages.
Because of the pandemic we planned it so the party would be outside where the tables and chairs and all of the set up could be fairly socially distanced. It was sort of a last-minute scramble with invites but you know you have to pick a time. We picked 6 PM on Sunday.
As it approached we watch the forecast and saw that there was a high likelihood for rain and thunderstorms during that time. We Made a judgment call on Sunday morning and scramble again to set everything up in the garage. This meant actually cleaning out the garage and moving stuff so that there was room for everything. It was a lot of work but It turned out great!
Yes, it is disappointing that we were not able to have a lot of people over. When it was all said and done and people were leaving and we were cleaning up the garage I told her I was sorry. It’s certainly not what I had in my mind on how the event would go. I’ve attended many graduation parties over the years and really thought that we would have a huge bash. I have to let that go.
We did good. I have to focus on that.
And then blink again and shift that focus to the next phase of her life. The college years. Even as we’ve been shopping for the last couple of weeks for dorm room essentials, I remain somewhat in denial that moving day is fast approaching.
In a few short weeks we will be loading up A vehicle with all of her necessities and driving to Lincoln. A few folks have asked me how I think I’ll feel. And I just don’t know. Will it be like that first day of kindergarten when it’s tough to put on a brave face and hold back tears.
Or will it be a joyful celebration with us dancing down the hallway of her new home? At this moment I can’t predict.
At this moment I’m still entrenched in memories and a little overwhelmed with emotions over her growing up so fast. At this moment I’m looking at all the things we DID do and how far she’s come. I’m feeling proud of us and letting go of mistakes.
I really have done a fine job raising her despite many obstacles. Her future is truly bright. And I have no doubt that whatever she chooses to do, she will be successful.
That’s it. That’s my 30 and I’ve got to cut and run.
Peace and Love,