My mind is spinning with so many things. Spirals and waves of thought and emotion. How on earth does one focus enough to spill all this out on a page in an organized way? 

One doesn’t! 😂 But a girl can try. 

I had such a strange evening last night that tumbled into a sleep that felt like no sleep at all. Dreams, cats, waking and tossing and turning. Waking and shuffling to the bathroom. Waking and checking email. Waking and editing an essay (and submitting it 🫢). 

Along the way, in one of my dreams I went to the bathroom and discovered that my period had started. Wishful thinking. 

When I finally got up and out of bed I started in on morning chores. Feeding cats, fish, birds, and younglings craving bacon before they headed off to work. 

I submitted more writing to journals, breaking the celebratory promise I made to myself to wait two weeks. 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️ Oh well, oh well. 

Then I felt it. A slight cramp in my low belly. And I thought “what?!” 

Sure enough the dream I thought was a dream was not a dream at all. Either that or my dreams are clairvoyant. 😂 So after 4 months with no period, it finally started. What a relief!! 

I don’t know if it’s psychological or physical or both, but I immediately felt better, lighter, more awake. And just like that it’s Day 1🩸and the clock starts again. I know the big “M” is on its way. I’m just not ready. Despite the fact that statistics say now is the time, I’m too young. I feel too young. I started late so I should get to finish late too right? 

I guess this also means I’m not pregnant. No extraterrestrial offspring or new sweet baby Jesuses. 🤣 No instant fortune and fame. That’s ok, I’m not made to take on paparazzi or viral video chasers. 

Ok… that’s what’s on the top of my brain. Now it’s time for a little confession. Nothing earth shattering… but…

That weird night and morning revelation happened yesterday. I also wrote it yesterday but then got distracted with something else that needed immediate attention apparently. 

So now it’s tomorrow (Day 2 😂) and for the life of me I can’t remember what else was so urgent. All that nonsense about “so many topics” turning my brain upside down was just #fakeNews

I mean, I guess the fact that I fell off the “submission hiatus” wagon is still true and as I’ve had a fair amount of free time, I didn’t just fall off, I sprinted back to the original goal of always having 100 active subs. So there it is. I’m such an idiot. 

I’m a picky bitch though and have kind of hit the end of the road with possible opportunities. Unless I get a new lead, I might be forced to take a break for real. 

When I say “picky” what I mean is that I have certain standards and no longer send my work to certain types of places. I have a whole set of criteria: 

• The pub has to have been around at least 5 years -or- have been recognized in some sort of prize anthology. 
• They have to be on Brecht’s Top 1000 list. Preferably in the top 500. 
• They have to be open with a regular opportunity (as in not a prize because contests are expensive. Big 💵 ). Obvi my preference is free. 
• The pub has to look good and present the work well. You know, have some style and beauty. 

Obviously I also can’t submit a place that already has my work under consideration. So, yeah, it’s slim pickings out there. 

What else? It’s Father’s Day. Happy day to all the dads out there! My kids are going to have lunch with their dad, but then we get to hang out and play board games in the afternoon and evening. Should be a great time. Fills my heart right up. 💗

I think that’s it for now. Sorry about that big bait and switch. Maybe I’ll remember all the other hot topics tomorrow?! No promises though. 😜

Thanks for reading. 

Peace and Love, 

~Miss SugarCookie