Two converging topics this AM. I think that nobody is completely immune from “grass is always greener” syndrome. I talk to people in all kinds of situations and the common thread is that they all have the shit they are dealing with.
We have a tendency to look over that fence and see what we want to see in other people’s lives. That one over there is happily married and it’s great. That one over there has the perfect kids, or a very desirable job situation. We are mostly exposed to the social media representation of peoples lives where the filter applied is very rose colored.
But when you talk in person with people you are close with, the filter drops and the truth is exposed. The job is great but their boss is a complete douche-canoe, the kids are driving them bat-shit crazy, and their spouse forgot their birthday.
That’s real life.
I’m not going to get on my social media soap box now, though I could, because in the way of actually improving interpersonal relationships it brings almost nothing positive. It’s the in-person connections I want to focus on.
I met with my Friend Vis for lunch yesterday and unlike our last Meetup, we actually talked about his life and times. We both remarked about the phenomenon that talking to other people helps open eyes about the imperfections of life and that the grass is not always greener.
I don’t have a large set list of people I have these open communications with. Five or six at most and two of those people live elsewhere in the country. I might meet up with folks, or keep trying to stay social, but most of those are very surface level. Each time I do chat with one of my main peeps, it’s so valuable.
I’m reminded by their candid conversation that we’re all going through something. That’s life and the grass in their yard is NOT greener. And the grass in my yard is pretty green (except today because it’s covered in fucking snow!!🙄).
Crossing into the second related topic now which has to do with one of the only TV shows I still make an effort to watch sometimes. For me to watch a show, I have to really want to because I don’t have cable or Netflix or Hulu or any other subscription service. I watch tv streaming from the air. It’s the ultimate steaming service. It’s free but I only get like 3 or 4 channels that come in clear. Also, for that to work out, I have to watch a show at the time it airs.
Consequently, I pretty much don’t watch anything. A few years back I got into watching the Bachelor and then my sister and I would talk shit about that after each episode. I sort of stopped doing that in the last year but decided to tune in again last night and see what was up. As it turns out, it was the season finale. Who knew??!
This meant that 1). I will have bypassed ALL the drama and skipped right to the final decision and 2). It was 3 hours of life that I would be sacrificing instead of just one.
I watched with my son who also seems to enjoy it and getting some couch time with Mom. I try to make it educational for him pointing out mistakes they make and then sometimes I’m like “see what he did there? Never do that”. 😂 Of course the number one lesson to be learned is to never be on a reality TV show like that. I mean how dumb.
So this guy, this current bachelor, is in love with both the remaining women. There have been seasons in the past where some dude had actually told two women that he loved them so that’s not new but in those cases I think there was maybe always a clear choice (though it always appears to me that they end up making the wrong choice). Stupid! In this case though, he still claimed the entire show that he didn’t know what he was going to do.
This show is so tired now, I think they keep trying to push the envelope just to retain interest. Supposedly on the morning he was supposed to be making his decision known to both women, he was still conflicted. Uhhh.. really? Then don’t freaking propose moron! See .. Stupid!
Anyway, of course he proposes and of course she says yes and the other girl goes home crying. Then they cut to the studio audience with a shocking revelation that the story wasn’t over and that they have LIVE footage of what happens after that. Holy crap (and of course they do because they have to 1-up last season). 😉
After that magical proposal, Mr. conflicted goes back to his life and he and miss so and so start figuring out what their life together will be like. They live in different cities and have several meetups I guess but they are never really back to reality though. The cameras are still following them around to catch everything. He confesses (to ABC) that he can’t stop thinking about the other girl and feels like he made a mistake. It’s only been like 4 weeks dude, you haven’t had enough time to figure anything out. But whatever.
So the cameras are rolling on a Meetup (which on a side note still seems like a fantasy getaway destination nestled in the hills of Cali so not really his place or hers). The network is presumably still picking up the tab for this and therefore have a right to film and air the very moment he breaks this news to her and basically instantaneously ruins every picture she had in her head about their future together.
The host hyped this up quite a bit but in reality it ended up being about a half an hour of them walking from place to place in this apartment/house and not saying more than four words to each other. She cried and said that she was so embarrassed and he just stared at her like an idiot not leaving.
I momentarily became one of those people who talk to their TV. “Quit asking her to talk to you if you have nothing to say!!”. I’m sure ABC told him to drag it out for as long as he could so they could get maximum footage. It was painful to watch, but somehow I could not turn it off until it was over.
AND.. after the three hour episode, it was still not over. Tonight is the recap with all three people in studio for interviews. No thanks! I was sucked in last night and like some grand orchestrated train wreck, I could not look away but tonight I’ll be skipping that hot mess.
Bringing things full circle, it was a good reminder how messed up other people’s lives are and life in general for that matter. Sort of like when I talk to People openly about their lives, but different. My life is pretty awesome and even if I’m apparently on a rollercoaster ride with my romantic life that I can’t seem to get off of, it’s no where near being proposed to and then 4 weeks later breaking up (no.. that was me in 2016).
Back to Reality,