Late in 2016, when I was a wreck and my life was a bloody mess and I cried at the top of my stairs and I cried at the bottom of my stairs and I cried in my car on the way to just about everywhere, I wrote a lot. Sometimes, the writing was the only thing I could think to do which would temporarily alleviate the pain of what I was going through. Most times, it didn’t actually make me feel better, but helped pass the time anyway.
Back then I didn’t have a blog. THe blog would come later. Back then I was just opening a file and starting to type whatever it was that was on my mind in that moment. I had been writing long enough and organizing my writing long enough that I already had established a naming scheme for my journal entries. It was simple – the date in CCYYMMDD format, that way, you could order things in ascending or descending order and they would be exactly chronological or reverse chronological, depending on the sort.
I still had a full time job then, and of course I had my children to care for, so I didn’t have a ton of free time. Still, on the days when things would get really bad (or nights mostly), I would write. Sometimes I would write a second time, and then ion a few rare occasions, I would write a third time. It was on these times that I would append the CCYYMMDD date with an “A” or or a “B” or a “C”. I never got to “D”. I think I would have remembered that. Probably most of those days when I would write more than once it was because I just could not tear myself away from some obsessive thinking.
The works was probably October and into November. I try not to dwell on the past so I’ve rarely gone back to read through all that garbage but I still recall the essence of it. Horrible. Thankfully now, on this 10th day of September in the year 2018, I’m writing a 4th journal entry for mostly the best of reasons. Sure, missing a flight knocked me on my ass, but I’m still headed for an all-inclusive resort in an exotic part of the world. That’s not so bad right?
I had to take that first and turn it into something even better – which would be this first – posting 4 times in one day. At this point, most people reading/subscribed have long ago lost interest so it won’t really matter if it’s boring as hell. Some part of me always wants what I write to be interesting and helpful, but how exciting can one persons day to day life be? The answer is – not very.
I got bumped to first class probably because that was one of the only open seats and so this is a new experience for me too. They actually served us drinks while we waited for the rest of the plane to board. The flight attendant in this section seems to have some level of anxiety about her that you usually don’t see in flight attendants. They are typically cool as a cucumber (are cucumbers cool?). She had to take our drinks away for taxi and takeoff and she was frazzled about that. I don’t quite understand the rules.. I mean, I can hold a drink during turbulence and if I can’t the only person to suffer if it spills is me. But she grabbed them all up anyway and hurried off with her tray.
I ordered a Bloody Mary mix, which is my signature drink on flights usually because I like the way it tastes and it doesn’t have any booze in it so it’s free. When she came back around again to ask for our food order, she seemed exhastsperated that she had to repeat the options for the 10th time and was unapologetic that the cheese ravioli was already spoken for. I’ve never had jumbaliah but don’t suspect i would like anything made with both chicken and sausage. It sounded unnatural. I opted to just have the side salad instead.
Now you are probably starting to get the picture of what it’s like when a person blogs like 4 times a day. You run out of things to write about and just start describing food. How exciting! It’s like those people on Facebook who post everything and run out of opinions and so they just take pictures of their food instead. Yeah. That. I mean, I could go back and reminisce about all the horrible moments I had in 2016, but that’s like bronchitis too. Ain’t nobody got time for that. 😜
I must be in a better mood now. I guess first class does that to a person. Whoever said money can’t buy happiness just didn’t try hard enough I guess. I’ve just been handed another drink. This time I said “with vodka” and she looked at me sideways and said you mean a Bloody Mary. I’m all like yeah, I guess that is what you would call Bloody Mary mix with vodka. Whatev. It’s too strong though. Like a tiny little glass and they made a double. How much like Goldilocks can one girl be anyhow? Too weak, too strong. Top it off with mix and it will be just right I’m sure.
And just like that… huzzah! There’s one cheese ravioli meal left and it’s all mine. I think my luck is starting to turn. What came first though, the chicken or the egg?
There’s a lot of Blue out there. We’re preparing to land. My ears are in pain and I don’t speak Spanish. What the hell happens next.. I don’t know. Hopefully they will let me into the country and I’ll find my transportation and be on my way to the resort where my friends have a two hour head start on me. The only question left is will this be the last play-by-play update today? Will there be a number 5? Who knows.. Only time will tell. 😘