It’s official.. the final countdown is here! It’s 99 days until I make a vow to spend the rest of my life with another person. Like a lot of big decisions in life, I have doubts and fears but I think that’s always going to be the case. It’s just the Way of things.
Am I ready? No. Will I ever be? No. That’s also the Way. That’s what having faith is about and trusting your greater instincts. I recognize how wonderful things are and just have to allow myself to not get too bunched up with little annoyances and doubts. At the end of the day I believe we were meant to be together and as life moves forward plans unfold and life just happens. Just like this whole wedding thing is going to happen.
99 days and the train is rolling and there are no brakes. We have most of the big things taken care of.. we have a place to get married and a reception hall and someone to marry us. I have a dress and shoes and he has a suit and just this week we found the perfect shirt for him that matches the dress. I also received the invites in the mail this week. Once those go out, there’s really no stopping the train.
Last weekend Jim and I went to a wedding which was sort of serendipitous. A few weeks back I received a text from a guy I used to work with at Methodist Hospital with a pic of an invite he said was returned with a wrong address. I’ve moved several times since he and I hung out on a regular basis so that makes sense. I haven’t talked to this guy in like 10 years, but we decided to go to his wedding anyway to experience the vibe and pick up on anything we might be missing with regard to our own planning.
Probably the biggest worry at this point is timing and logistics for that whole weekend. We’re planning a party at the house and also of course the ceremony and reception. We also want to put together music and a cute video that can play while people are arriving. My plan is to get all that sorted in November so we can go into the holiday without lot of loose ends or stuff to fret about.
Of course I’m sure there are things I’m not thinking of.. but I’m not too bothered by it. Again, I’m more nervous about just the idea of getting married again. That’s way more important. You know.. committing the rest of your life to one person. That’s very scary. Life is so unpredictable and you just never know what’s going to happen next.
I suppose things have just been so good and the last year and a half has been so different than anything I’ve ever had. It’s also gone by so fast I wonder what I might just not know or have not realized in the haze of falling in love. Am I missing some red flag? Am I the red flag? Perhaps that’s what is at the heart of my doubts and fears. You see how thinking too much about stuff can really mess with a persons head?
Tomorrow when I wake up, it will be 98 days to go and the day after that it will be 97 and February will be here before we know it. Yup. It’s happening.
Cheers to the Final Countdown! 🥂