It’s Monday. It’s 40 degrees colder outside than it was yesterday. It’s raining. There’s a new temporary household policy regarding going out to public places (except work and school) and also spending money. Just to be cautious. I get it.
Yesterday I had a stuffy nose and felt kind of crappy. Last night before bed I was asked to sleep in the spare room. You know, just to be on the safe side cuz he can’t get sick right now. I mean. He can’t miss any days or even appear to be sick because that’s a huge deal right now. I get that too. I suppose.
I shrugged and took my stuff up to the room that’s my office which also doubles as a spare bedroom. It has my bedroom furniture in it, from my house from before I moved in here. It’s the most comfortable bed I’ve ever slept in. That’s the plus. It’s my room. It’s the one room in the house that’s just all my stuff. Literally.
My office furniture, my bedroom furniture, my plants, my pictures and paintings. My daughters old dresser is in the closet. So it’s pretty cozy and comfy for me in there.
I did have a little trouble falling asleep. I drifted in and out for a while, completely aware that two of the three cats also decided it was comfy and joined me in sleeping on that bed. Eventually I drifted off.
When I woke up it was like 2:55 am and I had been having terrible dreams. Something serious about my ex, Matt, except we were still together. Thankfully that’s all I can remember except that I was so heartbroken. I woke up heartbroken.
What an awful feeling. I don’t miss that at all. It was too chilling of a reminder. I felt compelled to walk down the hallway and check on the kids to make sure they were ok and sleeping. Then I took a half a Xanax and went back to bed. I let the med put me back under and slept the rest of the night until like 6:45.
That’s when Jim woke me up. I haven’t set an alarm in a long time cuz his always wakes me up. He had already cooked breakfast and I sat with him while he ate and then made sure the kids got out the door too. My daughters alarm clock did not go off and they were late to school. Just add that to the pile I guess.
I had a work meeting at 8am. Not only was it too early for adulting but it also caused me to miss my morning treadmill/cardio session. After the meeting I started in on chores, which included grocery shopping.
The long-term/disaster planning shopping was done a few weeks ago so Today’s objective was more about short term solutions in case the city goes into self-quarantine mode. Good Gawd, I swear we have enough food to last quite a while. After today I swear that’s it. I’m not going to the store for a freaking month (which I suppose is the point).
If any person in this house asks for anything we don’t have, there’s going to be a serious discussion. If it goes well, they will be showing their gratitude for all the things I do around here. If it goes poorly, there might be murder. Or at least hell to pay.
I guess you could say the rotten mood I found yesterday has persisted. I guess being asked to sleep in a different room didn’t help. I guess being told that I probably should not go to Jazzercise didn’t help.
I suppose I don’t understand why it’s ok that I go to the grocery store but not Jazzercise or out to lunch with my mom (or anything else I’ve got planned in the near future). Yeah. It’s probably my frustration with not understanding that’s got me down.
I doesn’t help that I’m feeling broken hearted from that dream and don’t understand why I still was feeling it on the way to the grocery store. I mean, it’s history. It’s not happening now, so why is my stupid brain making me relive it?! Once wasn’t enough?!!!
Every day I ask Alexa what the news is. It’s typically after everyone has left and I’m in the kitchen alone doing dishes. Alexa’s update today was almost completely about the coronavirus.
It’s not containable and spreading quicker in the US than anticipated (which makes sense cuz of our lifestyle here).
The financial markets are suffering. There could be an economic crash.
The ultimate impact is, of course, unknown but people are scrambling to plan for the worst. Which is why we have been planning for the worst.
I then asked Alexa why I was sad today.
She doesn’t know but suggested I talk to someone or go for a walk. Both of those are good suggestions.
I’m walking now.
Any minute people will be arriving home. But the Monday routine will just play out like it normally does. Like nothing is wrong.
As long as there’s dinner and clean dishes and towels, etc. etc. etc……
Wow. I’ve ranted for like 50 minutes now. If anyone is still reading.. you are a SAINT!
I think that’s enough for one grumpy Monday. Time to go pet my new sleep mates. 🐱💕
Waiting for Tuesday,
PS. No.. the featured image was not taken in Kauai. Yes.. it’s my cat, Doug. It’s an action shot that was taken today as he was going after a treat I threw in the plastic bin. Yes.. He’s crazy. Yes.. it is also an accurate reflection of my mood.