2020-10-28 Tell Me

What there is to complain about?

That’s a line from a song I don’t remember.

I was planning a road trip to Austin, so I could be with my peeps for the election. Really.. just so I can hang out with them like old times. You know, their house has been my sanctuary through a lot of shit. Kind of sucks it’s so far away. Really sucks I can’t fly.

I’ve been very flaky lately with making plans and cancelling. I’ve been on the fence about going to Austin and now that it’s time to put up or shut up, I’m thinking I’m going to have to cancel. Which is depressing.

I’m really on the edge today. I don’t want to effffing be here this weekend. I’m mad about residency. I’m mad about graduation and all the hypocrisy in the world. I’m grinding my teeth about the upcoming election. So sick of it all.

I’m also tired of being tired. Last night I tried to go to bed at 10. But it was like 9:30 before Jim was done with work and I needed to talk to someone. At the end of the day, I needed that more than sleep, just to feel connected to another adult. My person. Tuesday’s are his long days and therefore stressful for him too.

The reality of my new reality is that he does not have enough free time and I now probably have too much. And I hate feeling like I’m just sitting around waiting for another person. But that’s what I did last night. I reorganized some of the books in the library instead of working on writing or my lecture or any other sort of thing.

When I went to bed at 10:30 I was there for like an hour Or two and then when I woke, he was snoring and I was just so over it. I went to my daughters room to sleep. But never really got good sleep.

So I wake today only to repeat yesterday. Madness.

I don’t want to be here this weekend. I need to get away from this place. I don’t want to be here for Halloween or a house full of spoiled teenagers (one of whom is like almost 21 and is the one who is the worst at cleaning up after himself). I’m not a freaking maid. People need to pick up after themselves. Good grief!

And what about Halloween?! I’m wondering why, if things are so bad out there, would they not cancel trick or treating??!!

Think about that. Kids going door to door getting candy from strangers, knocking on doors, putting their grubby hands on the candy and then putting it in their mouth. Talk about a super-spreader event. The only thing worse is a presidential election.

I was at the election commission in Omaha a few weeks ago and can verify that social distancing measures were not being followed. Yes, everyone was wearing masks but no 6 feet rule in line or at the voting kiosks. Pretty sure the voting sites will not be much better on Election Day.

And can I just soap box for one hot minute how sick I am about the choices. The last four years have been a circus and I think that it does not matter what the outcome is, the next four will not be better. It’s just a matter of what kind of circus it’s gonna be. I personally don’t feel like either candidate is qualified to be the president. It’s disturbing to have to choose, once again, between the lesser of two evils.

I’ll hold my tongue today about the impact to me personally. But that could be another rant coming soon if I don’t find some other outlet. Flame off.

I ask again.. What is there to complain about?

Don’t ask me. I guess. Unless you want a page of irritated words.

It’s sad that’s all I have today. But that’s it.

Taking deep breaths,
~Miss SugarCookie

Ps. I looked up the song. Good Life by One Republic. That fits.

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