I went to the lake yesterday. I kept my plans and overcame whatever it was that separates people who need each other. Or rather, whatever it is that keeps me from keeping to my word or from doing something that feels so foreign. Is it fear?

Am I afraid of what can happen? All the alternate unknown possibilities. Am I afraid of the unfamiliar or setting expectations I’m not capable of meeting.

As far as yesterday is concerned, it does not matter. I did it all anyway. Well, I did as much as I could anyway. I’m truly not prepared to take care of my aging parents who are both suddenly alone. My sister lives closer but I don’t think she’s up to the task either. Two peas from the same pod.

My mom adopted a dog. That’s something for her to do and another being to take care of like she’s used to doing. Sort of. But the dog is not going to take care of her. At least in her case she’s outgoing and social, has her friends and places to go and people to visit with. My dad hasn’t got that same dynamic.

Yesterday he told me he was glad he had grocery shopping. Cuz he’s got nothing else to do? What did he do all day before this? I don’t even know the man.

It’s winter and the golf course he works at is closed. And most courses are closed and it’s too cold to play anyway. So it’s grocery shopping and then what? He told my sister he didn’t even know how to work the tv or fire stick. /deep sigh.

I’ll probably call again today to see what’s up. But really need to take care of some stuff at home. Those check boxes aren’t going to check themselves.

I’m not feeling the treadmill today. And I’m hungry and want coffee. Guess that’s enough reason to give myself a little wiggle room and let go of the step count today. For now anyway.

Cheese and Crackers,
~Miss SugarCookie