“Concentrate and ask again”
There’s always a lot going on, you know, and life never seems to slow down. By now I’ve realized that this notion I always have that things are going to slow down any minute is a trick of the mind. And that I’m my own worst enemy, ensuring that it doesn’t. Call it a bit of self sabotage.
My last few posts were about quitting, and more specifically in one of them, reference to a podcast I’ve been listening to which is a five minute morning pep talk. This week was kind of a theme all about rewriting “rules” ingrained in us from an early age. “Never give up” was one of those rules. That’s where the thoughts on quitting or not quitting came from.
Then yesterday, I listened to another that was about always saying ‘yes’ to things people want or need or ask of us. The point is that we don’t always have to say yes. We need to pause and examine each request before jumping into yet another thing for someone else. In other words, don’t say yes or no: “Concentrate and ask again”
Two things to do in this moment of concentration:
- Ask yourself what you will give up in order to do said thing.
- Challenge yourself to think about what it will be like to say no.
The pause itself is a great start. Instead of saying “ok” practice saying “I’ll think about it.” That’s a pretty practical response and anyone that is looking for an answer right away is being unreasonable.
Ask them if it’s ok to get back to them in a day or two. And then use that time to consider at least the two aforementioned points.
There’s only so much time in a day and the calendar is already busting at the seams. So think about what you would give up. Your exercise routine? Dinner with your family? Another project you’ve committed to? Or the Universe forbid…. Sleep!
If you have time or other things you are willing to sacrifice, then maybe ask yourself if you really want to do it. Many times we agree to doing things just to please people, and that’s ok, but it’s good to also think about how you would feel about saying no.
If you really want to do it, and it’s a great opportunity and you’re excited about it, then it’s probably going to make you lean towards saying yes.
But if you immediately dread the thought of whatever it is or it’s similar to something else you didn’t like doing, then you’re probably better off passing on it. If you think about saying no, does that feel like a relief? Again, saying no is the way to go.
And it’s ok to say no. I don’t want to tell anyone no so that’s part of my problem. I want to please people or at least not disappoint them so I just say yes to everything. Writing this is simply my attempt to solidify these thoughts in my head and hopefully remember to practice what I preach when the next “opportunity” comes knocking.
All of this is fresh in my mind because of that podcast but also because of a conversation I had with Jim yesterday about putting some projects on the back burner to open up time and space for the more enjoyable parts of life. You know, bike rides, and reading books, and spending quality time together, with our cats. 😊
All the events, conversations, and podcast messages converged this week and I take that as a sign. It’s time to change things up a bit and today is a good day to start (or stop).
Peace and love,
PS. The magic 8 ball actually has 20 different responses. 10 that are positive/yes responses, 5 that are negative/no responses, and 5 that are non-committal. No wonder we are all conditioned just to say yes right off the bat?! 🤣
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[…] those of you keeping score, this is the learned—Magic 8 Ball—approach of not saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to someone immediately. The better way to go about […]