What a strange day. I remembered the Ides were coming up a few days ago and then forgot again. Then all day today I had this strange feeling something was off. Might have been that 4AM wake up. Might have been the feeling of being too tired coupled with an unusually productive morning. Might be all in my head.
I’ve had strange mood swings today. One minute I feel like everything is peachy and I feel pretty good and then the next I feel super anxious and nervous about the days ahead. Not that there is anything worth being anxious about in the days ahead. Well, maybe the reading on Sunday, but the rest of the week will be pretty chill. And my daughter is home for spring break and that’s been great so far.
OK, before I forget to mention it again. The reading is something I agreed to do for a person I connected with through the lit mag. She’s having a book launch for her book and a virtual reading for that and all the readers are folks like me who she has connected to through the “industry.” Here’s the short story if you are interested in zooming in:
Bad Girls of Poetry
Sunday March 19th, 2023
Virtual Book Launch for Jane Muschenetz
Reading @ 4:30 CST / 2:30 PST on Zoom
Full details here.
Free Registration here.
Maybe the anxiety is about the reading or the theme. I mean I hardly qualify as a “Bad Girl” poet. On the contrary. I’m more of a goodie-two-shoes poet. Or an “I can’t break a rule even when I try” poet. What poems am I going to read for 5 minutes that fit that theme?
Anyway, I really don’t think that’s the cause for my emotional swells today. It’s probably just the Ides and the history of the Ides when it comes to my fam. Hell, I barely communicated with my dad today other than to push our Thursday lunch plans to Friday. He reminded me to bring back his crock pot and I agreed we could procrastinate selling his car another week. Such excitement. Better than the time he had a heart attack on the 15th of March. I don’t even know how long ago that was now. I am sure he will remind me on Friday.
Then there’s the fact that it’s also the anniversary of my divorce. 13 years ago. Can that be right? no matter. It’s best left in the past and so I’ll just continue to look away like all of the other March 15 tragedies.
Now that I’ve nodded at the day… what will it bring?
I guess we’ll see.
Next stop… St. Patty’s Day. 🍀