Putting it all back together takes forever!!

Every time I think I’ve turned the corner and am feeling back to myself again I’m reminded pretty quickly that I’m no spring chicken, and no longer recover from anything as quickly as I used to.

That’s one of the realities of aging. The body keeps a score and there’s just no denying that everything slows down, and becomes more challenging. No way to sugar coat it… Sometimes it’s just plain rotten. 

A little over a year ago I slipped on the stairs and injured the toes on my right foot. It took me weeks to get back to walking normal again and literally months to heal. Not one or two months, but like 10. I would test it all the time…. How far can I squeeze my big toe forward. I used to be able to squeeze and pop the knuckle (gross I know) so when I was finally able to do this again, without pain, I knew it was healed. Like I said, it took a long time. 

I have lots of examples like this… bruises that appear and take a long time to go away, scratches, acne, and neck pain from sleeping wrong. The list goes on and on. Thankfully, the body does eventually bounce back but it makes me very leery of any minor ache or new twitch. 

Just yesterday I carried a bag of mulch from the garden center to my car and when I finally released it into the trunk I thought my arm was going to fall off. Then as the pain did not subside I began worrying about tennis elbow. Last time I had that it was a quick and stupid injury and took over 18 months (and two steroid shots) to heal. No thanks. 

I guess my point here besides lamenting about my aches and pains is that aging is inevitable and something I’m thinking about a lot as I approach my 50th birthday. 

I’ve always loved to travel and see new cool and exotic places and have a huge bucket list of where I’d still like to go before I die. I always thought that retirement would be fantastic because I’d be able to do all that without worry about time or work and truly get the most out of life. Now the idea of traveling to Iceland or Australia or Egypt seems almost unappealing.

Alaska took a lot out of me and I’m still recovering. Yes, a lot of that has to do with the fact that I got sick on vacation, but even just the traveling seems to take a lot of energy that I don’t seem to have anymore. 

This past weekend was pretty low-key and relaxing and part of me thinks that enjoying this lifestyle and not going anywhere really is where it’s at. All I have to do is wake up and I’m already here. Waaaaa-la! 🪄 

Aside from my outlook on travel I think there are other thoughts about life that are changing too. One obvious one is my desire to withdraw from the world in general a little more than I used to. Hence the cut of public appearances and social meetups. And this has recently been extended to celebratory gatherings as well.

Originally, I wanted to have a big get together for my birthday this year, but the closer it gets the more that sounds unappealing. I basically decided against it, and I am opting to have a very small family dinner to take care of the family part of the equation and let the other chips fall where they may.

“Other chips“ being everything and everyone else. I will likely have a few meet ups, but those will be with the people I see regularly anyhow. Then when my actual bday gets here, Jim and the kids and I will be free to celebrate however we feel that weekend. That flexibility sounds fab. 

If I want to sleep in and not stress, I can do that. If I want to go out and kick it, I can do that too. It will be whatever I want at that moment. 

Which is all super contrary to how I’m feeling right now because for the next entire week my time is all already spoken for. It’s all great stuff but imma be one exhausted SugarCookie by this time next week. More on that never. 

Ok. My time is up.

Peace and love and all that jazz. Thanks for reading, 

~Miss SugarCookie