My Christmas Day turned out to be far superior to Christmas Eve. I think that the “it” factor was all about obligation.
Christmas Eve was all about me running myself crazy about both real and imagined expectations. And as I predicted, everything went just fine and the only real complaint I had was that I was so sleep deprived and had a few guests who stayed until about 11:30pm despite me mentioning I had not slept more than 8 hours the past two days.
Listen.. if you can’t take that hint, that’s a red flag. I guess add that to the pile of things on one side of the scale. It’s getting heavy now. Too heavy. Time to dump the marbles and start again.
On Christmas Day all those obligations just melted away. I was able to let the kids sleep in and nobody was there to tell me that I shouldn’t. We had our traditional Christmas breakfast of pop-can cinnamon rolls and bacon. I even lifted my self-imposed gluten free rule and had a few. They were wal-mart brand, which is not as good as pillsbury, but it was still a pretty great meal together.
Then we opened gifts and everyone was happy with what they received although I gave C the serious stink-eye because he didn’t give me anything. His sister is so generous with her time and diy talents AND her money. I don’t know how he turned out so different.
After that Brian came to get them and I had the rest of the day to do whatever I wanted. If the gym had been open, I’d have been all over that but as it was not.. I had to figure something else out.
One of the upgrades I got when I bought my current house was a large, luxory whirlpool bath tub complete with massage jets. I also have the proper infrastructure of two 40 gallon water heaters to support the use of that upgrade. It was for sure a tick** in the win column when I was deciding whether or not to purchase the house, but it was not the reason I pulled the trigger on the deal. I rarely use it.
In fact, I’ve only used it about three times now, including yesterday. Like starting a fire in the fireplace, it’s a time commitment and since I have other priorities consuming my time I really do r even think about it. Yesterday was the exception.
I filled my coffee cup with Jam Jar and filled my bathtub with hot water and bubbles and just sat back listening to music and relaxing for about an hour. It was pretty great.
When I was done with that I had leftovers, enrolled in school, and then finally, at long last, treated myself to that nap I’ve been coveting. It was also pretty great.
My plan for dinner was to go to the Dragon Cafe, just like all those other people who were so over Christmas and didn’t want to cook. Now here’s where my worlds collide…
I blog almost every day and I know there are a few “real” human beings that actually read what I write, but I sort of try to forget about that and just continue writing as if nobody is really paying attention. Kind of like that “Dance like nobody is watching” thing, only with a blog.
However, after posting yesterday about going to Dragon, I had one of those people reach out to me to offer to go with me to dinner. I gave Brian the first right of refusal, and then I happily accepted the offer. (Hi Vis.. Thanks again).
I’m really grateful for everything in my life and dinner yesterday was just a nice reminder of just a few of the things I sometimes forget about. There are people out in the world who care and are listening. No matter what our situation is, we are NOT alone.
Quick tangent.. as I write this, Alan Walker’s song “Alone”, came up in the shuffle. The chorus is “I know I’m not alone”. Of the thousand+ songs on my phone, for that one to come up right now is too freaky appropriate. Wow.
Anyway, last year around this time I felt so alone. I was at rock-bottom and had exhausted all that I had to try and climb out of my hole (or so I thought). But there were people there for me. They took care of me in my darkest hour. They made sure I didn’t drown and saw me safely to my bed. It was truly one of the worst nights of my life and I was not alone.
(Here’s where I could comment that it wasn’t the angels watching over me.. it was real people. But I won’t cuz this blog is for me damnit). 😉
So Vis and I had a nice meal at the Dragon with good, honest conversation and like the other things from my day, it was also pretty great. And I was super greatful I was not alone.
After dinner I went to get my kids and Z and I ended up watching a movie together. Also great.
So if you are keeping score like I am.. that’s 5 to zero. Christmas Day is the clear victor over Christmas Eve this year in the battle for the holidays. And among the other things I’m grateful for, the fact that it’s all over is now is definitely one of them.
Time to switch gears now… make some money, learn some new things, and prep for my MFA residency starting this week.
Peace and Love,
** I looked up the definition of the word ‘Tic” and the way I was using it, the appropriate spelling is “Tick”, according to Merriam-Webster. A “tic” is a nervous twitch or quirky response. Why then, I ask myself, is the game tic-tac-toe spelled that way? Things that make you go “hmmm”.