I’ve been contemplating what to say to the guy I’ve been “dating” for five months now. I’ve been thinking about it for a few weeks. I even wrote a poem about it (don’t worry, I’ll keep that shit to myself). Severing ties, even the loose ones, can be tricky.
I did it with Adam, but we only went out for about 10 dates. He was a great guy and I just didn’t feel it and I was able to just sit down and have a conversation and in the nicest way possible, convey my feelings. He understood and to this day we have an amiable connection.
He found a great girl, got married, moved away, and now I see via FB that they have a baby girl. That was ideal. Of course the opposite happened with Matt.
It stands to reason because we dated for 4+ years. That’s a lot different. The breakup literally took the better part of a year and that does not include the heartbreak and grief I went through after the fact. I can honestly say that he and I also now have an amiable connection, so, in the end, that’s the best I can hope for. No regrets or animosity.
Now I’m faced with another sitch. This one is in between those two in length and of very different in nature. Notice I put “dating” in quotes above. I’ve never really been clear about what it was. That’s probably part of the problem.
My logical brain has been weighing the good and bad for a while now. It wouldn’t be fair of me to lay that all out here because, well, it’s too one sided and most of it is subjective and influenced by my own inadequacies and needs.
What I’m trying to say is that he, like the others, is a great guy. What I can do, without feeling an ounce of regret, is say why he’s so great…
He’s a unique person who has a refreshing outlook on life. He’s fit and health conscious and is very much into enjoying life in the moment. He has a good heart, loves dogs, and volunteers at the Humane Society. He’s great with People and his extroverted nature is the literal antithesis of my socially anxiety riddled self. He’s a decent cook (except maybe where cheeseburgers are concerned) and seems to be open to continuous self-improvement.
Clearly, a good match, for somebody. Just not me because.. well.. he’s just not that into me. 😉
When the time comes (and it’s going to be pretty soon now), we’ll have to sit down and have a conversation about it and I think that’s exactly what I’m going to say, “You’re just not that into me”. I have a pretty good idea what to expect on how that will go, but life is rarely that predictable. We’ll see.
I’m almost through my morning elliptical routine and need to turn my attention elsewhere.