2018-02-22 No Apologies, No Regrets

Why does it take so long in our lives to get to the point where we care less about what everyone else thinks and more about what we think? I look at my teenage daughter and can feel her persona covered in things she has picked up from caring about what other people think. It’s not easy to grow out of nor is it quick process.

In my 20s and 30’s I still worried about what other people thought about me. Some of those people mattered and some of them didn’t. Slowly I’ve adopted a new outlook and attitude and I have to say that in the last year, I’ve made great progress.

I don’t think anyone ever gets completely away from caring what other people think. It’s part of why mutual accountability works in a positive way. Hopefully we can embrace the positive things about human nature and just put a hand up to block and shoo away the rest.

This is echoing in my mind today as I consider saying things to people that I want to say, without apologizing for who I am or what my words say about me or what someone might think about me because of it.

I’m over apologizing for the way I feel. I’m aiming for no regrets.

To be clear, I’m not talking about saying things to people to directly personally attack them or make them feel a certain way. I’m not that kind of person. I’m just talking about being more open with my thoughts and feelings with people who I have interpersonal relationships with.

Over time I’ve become more comfortable sharing my raw, organic thoughts in a somewhat anonymous public forum and I’d like to make that same true with the people in my life. This includes my parents, acquaintances, people I’ve known for years, and people I’ve just met.

I haven’t been dishonest. I’ve just historically made the choice to not say things because of fear or worry or consequence. I think over time my fear of regret has taken on more weight and is now heavier than my fear of consequences.

I am who I am and I’m willing to change and grow but want to stay grounded in being true to myself. I want to continue forward in my search of love and inspiration leaving fewer regrets on the path behind me.

Looking in the mirror and facing the reality of myself is important. I do care about what I think of myself and have to come to terms with both the beautiful parts and the ugly parts. It’s rare for people at large to hold that mirror up for you. I’m very grateful for those who do and are honest with me regardless of whether that is positive or negative. In that way, I do still care about what people think. I’m just making more of a conscious choice in my reactions.

Every morning, if I don’t wake before my alarm, I’ve got a nice reminder. My phone is set to play John Mayer singing “Say”. He gets quick to the chorus “Say what you need to say”. Every word in that song resonates with me and is exactly how I aspire to be.

Last, but certainly not least, today and always… A heart felt thank you to all who have liked, commented, or reached out to me personally from reading my words! It means a great deal to me!! ❤️😘😘

Truly, Madly, Deeply, and Completely,

~Miss SugarCookie

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