2018-07-25 Look Who’s Back, Back Again


I’m at the gym on my elliptical machine. It’s the first time I’m about two weeks and just getting started all I can think about is the start of that Eminem song “Without Me”. Now there’s a master poet! That guy is brilliant. Perhaps troubled, but I think a lot of genius artists are. I was never a huge “fan” but enough of one to have made some music purchases and have that deliciousness in the shuffle rotation of my master playlist.

Hell, I even made Eminem the target subject of one of my critical essays last semester. A perfect example of an artist who made a name (and persona) literally, with his work. At this point, as I get rolling with this term and my first deadline less than a month away, I’m wondering how the heck I’m going to top those essays. The good news is that it’s not a requirement and having a different mentor who doesn’t have access to those essays. She might have the final, not sure, but that’s it. I have a feeling she’s also going to be a very different as a mentor than the person I had last semester and that will be good. Because diversity is good. At any rate, I’m looking forward to it despite the deadlines and all that.

I think that’s why my transition back to “normal” life has been such a challenge. I want to dive right in and get started but I missed 10 days of work which equates to about 50 hours and I have to, need to, do work to cover my bills. Monday was tough and yesterday was even tougher. All of a sudden I’m now on 4 projects instead of 1 and at least one of those I’ve been tasked with doing something I’m going to have to completely learn before I can do it. There are deadlines and my work mentor is busier than I am. Getting half an hour of time is a serious challenge. That’s a problem. Yesterday I was freaking out about it. Today I have to get my shit together and just focus.

Talking to Jim last night was a huge help. I unloaded and he listened and then offered good advice. It was advice I would give myself if I had my head screwed on straight. He’s the best.

Right now I’m 37 minutes into my cardio set and Jason MRAZ just came up in the shuffle with one of my favorites, “No Doubling Back”. If I was in my car, I would be singing out loud.. loud! I don’t think my fellow gym goers would appreciate my singing, so I’ll just keep on typing.

When I got home from Residency, I made a to-do list for personal things which need to be taken care of and looking at that yesterday and seeing all I have done so far this week also made me feel better. I keep adding things to it, so it has grown more than it has shrunk, but seeing checks in the boxes is satisfying.

Tonight, after what I’m sure will be a super successful day “at the office”, I’m going to feed the creative side a little more by going to a reading downtown. Two People I know will be there so that’s a plus going in. Perhaps I will even get inspiration for my first critical essay. That would be amazing.

And just now my morning meeting was cancelled so I can just keep rolling. I’ve really missed my morning cardio and I can’t ever really catch up on steps but I can take this opportunity to hit it harder today. I’m going to be upping the resistance and letting the tunes in my ear carry me away.

What would I do Without This?

~Miss SugarCookie

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