In the last two days I traveled (via car) to Rochester Minnesota and back. I was given a quick tour of the Mayo campus and also of the town. It’s surprisingly a small town and the Mayo thing is at the center of it and pretty much all they have going on. I was actually surprised to see KMarts and Dairy Queens and the main part of town feels like an area time forgot. It was also a dreary, rainy couple of days and that always casts an unfavorable shadow on things.
After our appointment, which took like 3 hours, we had dinner at a quaint little place so Jim could reminisce about the days when he lived there. It’s always great to get an inside look at people’s pasts. I love hearing stories about “those days”. He drove my by the house he lived in and down a main strip in town where he pointed out other places he was familiar with. Like I said, it’s not a big town so it didn’t take long.
Then we went back to the hotel and had drinks at the hotel restaurant bar and talked some more.. this time about the future. We’re both very excited about continuing our journey together. It’s so refreshing to be with someone who isn’t afraid to talk about the future or plan. Some of it is pie-in-the-Sky daydreaming and some of it is serious.
There’s an element of logical strategic planning for next steps and if anything, I’m more gun-shy to discuss than he is. I’ve been fearless and open minded so far, but it’s all moved very fast and there’s a voice inside that’s going “whoa”. Then I remind myself that life has never been better and this is what I’ve been looking for my whole life.
Beyonce sings, “If you liked it, you’d shoulda put a ring in it”. That’s a song I never really liked but can’t argue with. Who am I to question a man that’s smart enough to heed that bit of wisdom? It’s a simple thought with some pretty large implications. Thinking about it had forced me to confront my own fears about commitment. These concerns melt away when we start talking about the future. That’s how I know we’re on the right track together.
It’s all very different when you’re older. 20 something’s don’t have kids or houses or established careers. 20 something’s have aspirations and goals and thoughts about what they want their lives to be without a lot of experience to validate that. Last time I got married I was 19 and had no concept of magnitude of “the rest of my life”. Hell, I didn’t even know myself or what I wanted from life. I was just riding the train, letting everything just happen.
Now I know what I want. I have direction and also established responsibilities. I’ve watched a lot of couples merge their families, so I’m no stranger to the obvious logistics. Merging households, forging positive relationships with the other persons children, and determining daily routines that work for everyone are among the top things to consider. If I try to think about it all at once it becomes a little overwhelming but like I said, when we talk about it together, I always feel better.
The quick road trip to Rochester provided the perfect oppprtunity to cover lots of ground. I’m more excited than ever. We arrived back home mid afternoon yesterday and he dropped me off at my house, my castle. I’m not as attached to it as I thought I would be. Home isn’t a building, it’s a space where your heart feels right.