2020-04-13 Accepting a New Way

For the first time ever I got a sleep score above 90. According to my FitBit the score for my sleep last night was 91 which equates to excellent. Wowza!

Last night I didn’t have much to think about in the way of what “has” to get done this week. My work hours have been reduced AND my thesis is essentially done and handed off to other folks for review. I’ve also been given the option to wait for the next in-person residency which is in December (instead of remotely in July) so that greatly reduces the stress of getting my lecture put together. If I put something together soon-ish, I can have my mentor help on it, which would be the only reason to want to do it before May gets here. Otherwise, I can just coast, you know, and put my focus elsewhere for now.

Today it’s back to work for Jim and the kids will not be home until this evening. So I have all day to work on anything I want. I told Jim at breakfast that it’s gonna be party time today. Just the cats and I free-wheeling. Of course I’ll get my steps and do the laundry and dishes but beyond that, all bets are off.

I might even hunt through some resources looking for lit mags to submit to. I had big goals in this area defined a few months back and all that just fell flat as work and school and Covid took over. Now, as I said yesterday, I have no excuses.

I’ve also made slow and steady progress with regard to the lit-mag Start-Up. With each conversation more needs to be done and if we’re gonna publish the site by May1st, those things need to get done sooner rather than later. What I’d like to do is put together a list of questions to survey folks for their opinions.

On one hand I’m in control of what content is there at the start and on the other hand, I want people to feel like their opinion matters and I don’t just want to be the “one” to decide things. If it were me doing this on my own, I’d certainly include more of my own weird ideas, but this is supposed to be collaborative. I also have a little friction with the person whose supposed to be my partner I’m this. He’s all talk, you know, and wants to be the top-cheese.

Our styles are very different and I’m like “well we need to have a mission statement because it’s in the membership form for CLMP and will be displayed on their site” and he’s all like “this is something we don’t need right away and it will evolve organically over time”.

I’m all for it developing organically over time, which it will. But to start a website you have to say something about what you are trying to do. Your about page has to say what you are about and if you want people to submit, you have to have a page that has specific guidelines and, ummmmm, a platform for them to submit.

I think this we’ll be the week for me to get those ducks in a row. I hope. I’m probably overthinking it cuz that’s my Way.

If this whole thing goes off the rails, I’m thinking I’ll just start my own thing. In some ways, that’s a comforting thought. I guess my angst comes from wanting to be at the forefront of the effort and at the same time having no clue what I’m doing. We want to appear legit, but it all just feels nebulous.

That’s enough of that. I think it will all work out and I just need to go with the flow. Do what I can and at the end of the day focus on me and what I need. Sounds selfish, but I have to stop worrying over stuff that out of my control.

If there’s a lesson to be learned from Covid, it’s that Mother Nature IS a force to be reckoned with and none of us have as much control as we’d like. It’s perhaps a little nudge toward a life where a person learns to just exist and be ok with whatever happens. And be grateful for what they have instead of always wanting more. You know?

Anyway, it’s time to get on with the day.
Thanks for reading.
~Miss SugarCookie

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