2021-01-31 On Looking Back at What’s Past versus Looking to the Future (+Post Vacation Stats)

One reason I try to write in a moment or a mood is that once it’s gone, the essence of it slips away from the immediate and tactile memory. It’s hard to recapture exactly what it was about that day, hour, or year when it’s past. 

It is partly for that reason that I know I would struggle with writing about my divorce, or my Children’s first birthdays, or that one time I fell in love on a road trip to the badlands. It’s also partially why I know I’m going to struggle to write about my latest road trip because it’s already fading from my mind. And not so much fading from memory as fading in priority. Because I’m almost always thinking about the future and concerned about it and planning what’s next. It’s just in my nature to do that.

As I began walking this morning I opened the paper planner I’ve been using since October to keep daily stats and to-do lists. Having just gotten back from vacation, it’s the first time in a week I’ve looked at it. I committed myself to not caring about it for a week, attempting to truly disconnect myself from the daily grind and obligations I put on myself. 

However, I still want to tally up my stats for the week, acknowledge the differences between a normal week and a vacation week and then let it all go so I can focus on a new week and a new month. 

Not surprising that my sleep was way better on vacation. Goal achieved 6 of the last 7 days (the goal being at least 7 hours OR a sleep score above 75). 

Also not surprising that my eating and mindfulness were zeros across the board. In hindsight, I think I would have benefited from some solitary meditation while on vacation, and it’s one of the things I’m going to prioritize on future trips. 

My mood was great all week until sometime Thursday evening when I fell into a state of grumpiness. That persisted through the drive home and collecting my thoughts on that might be an important exercise if I can find the time. I ended up scoring myself 5 out of 7 for the week which is pretty good overall. 

For exercise I’m relying completely on stats collected from my FitBit. Despite going on a trip where I was hoping to do a fair bit of hiking to get my steps, the exploring we did on foot was pretty minimal. I only hit my goal 3 of 7 days. And one of those was a bit fabricated as I got a ton of steps on Friday riding a horse which was very little effort on my part. 

Ok. So it’s Sunday and those are my stats. That’s the acknowledgment I was looking for and now it’s time to let that shit go. 

The week ahead looks busy and like I said, my mind is already churning about it being the start of a new month and opportunities to make corrections to rebalance in the month of February.

Personally I feel like I would benefit from more focus on health and wellness. I’ve really been eating poorly lately and need to change some things there. I’m considering cutting out coffee and (hold your hats) try being a vegetarian for a month. 

Yeah.. I said CONSIDERING, so we’ll see. Haha. If I do that I’ll need to do a little research. I mean it’s not rocket science but it will take some additional planning to figure out my meals. A friend of mine is trying to get me to do a thing that’s kind of like the “whole 30” so I may try a modified version of that. The last time I did the whole 30, I regretted it. So whatever I end up doing, it will be tailored to my body and needs, and realistic based on past experiences. 

I’ve also completely failed at meditation in January and plan to work my session(s) earlier in the day each day, when I have time alone without distraction. 

My hour is up. Rounding out, I’m not surprised that I did not yet make it to writing more about Oklahoma. I really need more alone time today and am still hoping to find time to at least write a brief recap for posterity. 

Peace and Love, 

~Miss SugarCookie

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