2022-11-05 What is life…


…but a series of explorations and experiments. Some turn out great and some don’t. Each, in a way, informs the next. Maybe you do the same experiment over and over, changing a few of the variables each time to see how it alters the outcome. You might even do the same thing in the exact same way just so see if the outcome can be different because of external forces outside your control. 

Control. 

Life is also about how much or little control one has over their circumstances and how that affects them. Some people seem to handle chaos pretty well, some even thrive in conflict. Then others, which I would say is the category I fall into, don’t do well if too much is out of control. Yeah, I like the feeling I’ve got some measure of influence in what’s going on in my immediate sphere. Or the decisions that get made that affect me. 

I might go so far as to say I get a little bent if things don’t go according to plan and sometimes have a tough time dealing with conflict that arises as a result. 

All this is super nebulous, you know, because I’m trying to force myself to write about something, anything to occupy my time. Honestly, I’d much rather be watching a show while on this stupid treadmill but that’s just not going to happen today. I’m also not in the mood to work out or get cardio or do anything besides sit with a hot cup of something and enjoy my Saturday morning that way. 

I don’t think I started writing with any topic in mind and just jumped in with the first thought that came to my brain. It’s not connected to any actual thing that’s going on, except maybe that this writing itself, and the stuff with the blog is under high scrutiny and therefore a series of experiments with it is what I am doing to figure out how I really feel. 

Truly, if I could stop blogging about the blog, that would be great. If I could get to that place of resolution, I would be able to return y’all to the regularly scheduled programming. If that happened, then I feel more of the other things stacked up behind would move forward in line toward their own natural conclusions, like dominos. 

Yet, here we are, together again, conducting another experiment. 

What else? 

Did I mention it was Saturday? I’m super low energy right now and walking at the slowest pace I ever walk and at this rate I won’t reach my goal for like 30 more minutes, at least. I just don’t have 30 minutes of content in me. 

At least not anything that’s not “sensitive” or now subject to my new troll filter.

Damn. There it is again. 

I think that’s gonna be it for now. Thanks for reading my nonsense. And hey, if you want to read the “protected” posts, then leave a comment or contact me using the form on the about page. Just another part of the experiment I guess, or maybe my attempt to have more control. 🤷‍♀️

Peace and love, 
~Miss SugarCookie


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