I’ve been saying all along, at every turn, that I need closure but that I may never have it. I may never have that conversation. I may never get the chance to say all the things I wanted to say AFTER it was all over. All the things I’ve ever said were things I wanted to say to try and keep going, with hope in mind. Always. I guess a part of me was still in denial, even after learning he had started dating someone else. Now here I am about to meet him to talk and my heart is pounding and I don’t know what to expect.
Will this be the conversation I’ve been wanting. Will I have my say and finally hear him say some things too? I don’t want to get my hopes up for anything, but I sort of can’t help it.
We are meeting at 6PM at a park, because I said I didn’t want to meet in a public place. I know myself well enough to know I will lose my composure. We are meeting at the same part we met back in October where I tried to convince him to come back to me. That seems like a lifetime ago now. It’s that conversation where I gave him my ring.
At that time I did my best to say everything I wanted to say given the context I was aware of. The thing I was not aware of, is that he had already started seeing someone else. Now that I know that, I’m thinking of things in a whole new light. Still, I don’t regret doing that. And I will not regret anything I say to him today either.
Like John says, “Say what you need to say”,