When I went to sleep last night, it was late and I was tired and I felt completely drained emotionally from the last few days. I’ve been up and down and around the block with these life questions and really felt I was at the end of what I could possibly take.
Truth be told, I became overwhelmed with the feeling of it all. That’s when you know it’s time for a change. Today, come hell or high-water, something is about to change.
A week ago, I was gearing up to quit my job, and ended up asking for a sabbatical instead. I don’t know if my manager picked up on the gravity of my state of thinking, but it has been a week since then and I feel like that is plenty of time for them to have worked out what they could do for me.
I’ve considered just quitting anyway.
I’ve considered asking to step down as team lead.
I’ve considered offering just to work on a contract basis for a set number of hours on specific projects.
The time for thinking about all of this is done and now it is time for action. I made the first move last week, so today, we’ll see what they bring back to the table. I might have mixed emotions, but I still don’t have any fear. I trust that it will all turn out like it is supposed to.
One of the things I pondered yesterday was about how I feel when I’m considering the different options. When thinking about staying at my company, I am filled with dread and when thinking about leaving, I feel relief. When I think about what it will be like when July gets here and I don’t have to deal with the stress and pressure and anger and responsibility, I feel calm and happy. That’s a pretty strong case for just saying sayonara. And, you know, there is a lot of detail behind that, but the emotions speak volumes.
It kind of feels like I’m hashing it all over again now trying to convince myself, and that’s really not the case. I’ve done my homework, I have confidence in my course of action, and I’m ready to pull the trigger.
Perhaps it’s just a little quitting day pep-talk. A motivational writing session, if you will, to set the tone.
It’s going to be a beautiful day out today. The sun is just now coming up and the weather promises to be sunny and 75. A top ten day. The perfect day, in fact, for celebrating change.
Time to Rise and Shine,