Yesterday I met with Jill and Jason and met their little darlings for the first time. They are friends of mine who I know because of Matt and that’s a story that repeats as people come together and break apart. New friendships are formed, others fade away. I wrote a poem last valentines day about that. When I explained the story of how I know them to Rebecca and Jeremy last night, she reminded me that’s how we met, many years ago.
I consider Rebecca one of my dearest friends and I only know her because she and Jeremy met. Jeremy and I went to the same high-school (different years), but never really knew each other. He was in my brothers grade and also Brian, my ex-husbad. When Brian and I got married, he was one of the groomsmen in the wedding. To this day, people still say that was one of the best wedding receptions ever. I guess good food, great people, and an open bar will do that.
Meeting with Jill was good and it was good to see how their lives have evolved since I saw them last. That was years ago, when Matt and I came down for a visit over Thanksgiving. We stayed at their little apartment and participated in their thanksgiving festivities. That was before they were married, bought a house, and had two beautiful daughters. Life changes. That’s what’s supposed to happen. The more I see it around me, the more I see people doing what they really want to be doing, the more I know I’ve made the right choices.
Seeing her with the kids and how happy she is and hearing her talk about being a stay-at-home mom and loving it does wonders for me. Seeing the two of them go through the bedtime routine, just as I have watched Jer and Rebecca go through the bedtime routine validates what I already know.. that is they way it is supposed to work, with partners in life. Each half of the duo has their role and no matter what it is they do their part and share equally in responsibility and also the joy that comes from each day. These people have it figured out and it will never be perfect, because that’s not the way of life, but it’s pretty damn good.
I try not to think back at when my kids were that age and I did not feel like I had an equal partner. I try not to think about how I wish it could have been that way and how things may have turned out differently if Brian had just been a little less selfish. There are, of course, two sides to the story and from his perspective I’m sure it was different, but it does not matter. It doesn’t do me any good to dwell on the past. However it does do me lots of good to share in these moments with these people that I care about and know that it can work and that figuring things out together as life changes is key.
This morning I’m just a free-agent doing some of the things I love to do when I’ve got alone time here. Writing, working out, walking on the walking path, and thinking. Rebecca is working a half day and when lunchtime gets here we are going to take off for the afternoon. She’s always so good at planning things. I feel so taken care of here it’s like the best getaway a person could ask for.
Not having to worry about work is one thing, but when I am at home I still have a world of responsibilities that need my attention. When I am here, I can let go of that and just enjoy my time. That, coupled with the fact that they always eat really well and are very balanced between work and play time, makes this really feel like the best place to rejuvenate and gain different perspectives on some of the things going on in my life that I may not see otherwise.
The perspectives I get here are all positive and these people I love who welcome me into their homes so easily, no matter how we were first connected, are priceless.
Time to Hit the Trail,