2018-05-10 The Thursday Meetup Monologue

Late night working last night and back at it again this morning. Makin’ the big bucks this week! I’m Getting a little cardio set in now though.

Today I’m supposed to be meeting up with Matt for lunch. He reached out to me on Monday, or maybe it was Sunday, basically to wish C a happy birthday I think. However, he quickly asked if I still wanted to get coffee or lunch sometime and I quickly replied yes. That’s a reflex.

Am I curious what he’s up to? Yes. Am I wondering about his relationship status? Of course. Does any of it really matter? Thankfully not anymore. Time does that and if I’m being honest so does my own relationship status. I’m happy now. I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time and feeling so positive about the future.

Yesterday Josh stopped by my house and we chatted for about an hour. I asked him what he’s heard from Matt lately (Josh is a mutual friend). They’ve had a couple group melee/smash sessions and I guess not much has changed.

Josh said he’s been out to Cali again to visit his girlfriend. Whatever. I think he’d probably move there if his family ties weren’t here. That’s kind of crap as far as I’m concerned because he always gave me grief for my not wanting to move until my kids were grown. In 2015 he said he didn’t think he wanted to buy another house in Omaha because he wanted to move. Ok.. that was 3 years ago and he’s still here and we broke up in 2016 and he started to date another girl and SHE moved and he didn’t go with her. See… CRAP. 💩

My agreeing to meet him was a gut reaction and now that I’ve had time to think about it, I don’t think I want to. I mean, what I would want is some deeper conversation to see what, if anything, is his real status and not just some surface level fluff like the last couple times. But to what end?

I don’t need any more reminders of why things didn’t work out between us. Just like I don’t need that surface conversation. Part of me feels like it just ends up being a catch up session where I feel great because I’m working again and going to school pursuing my dreams and now living the happy relationship life and he ends up feeling like shit because he’s still not doing any of those things. (I’m not counting his long distance thing with L a thing at all).

I don’t want to feel like I’m contributing to his down mood. Maybe something has changed and he’s found a thing he loves and is going for it. I don’t know. The fact is I don’t need to know and it doesn’t matter. And that’s a very healthy place for me to be.

I think I’m going to cancel. I don’t really feel like breaking my stride today anyway with Work and stuff. That’s what’s up.

Tonight I’m having date night with JS and my plan is to spend as much QT as I can at his place this weekend (me and my cat 🐱 😊).

Ok.. time now to get back to work.

Cheers to Being Over It!

~Miss SugarCookie

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